William Tell Overature

Sarah had once estimated that she was 'Mazing Girl maybe 25% of the time. This was a good balance, she thought. It allowed her a job, a bit of a life, and while one could abstractly say that these were distractions, she felt at least without perspective she would have been a very bad 'Mazing Girl. Though that's kind of a contradiction in terms, if one took, as was commonly thought (mazing was a contraction of amazing) and not as she maintained (that mazing was its own word). However, she thought she'd found the fine line.


So most of the time she was just a normal woman living in LA.


She had however several elements of her life that weren't normal.


- Sarah hadn't been to a dentist since she was 13. Her teeth were perfect. No cavities, no tooth decay. She did brush her teeth, but did so more for cleanliness...when she remembered to. She was, for all practical purposes, invulnerable - including her teeth. Which affected her in a lot of ways. She vaguely remembered going to dentists, and did occasionally get toothbrushes as presents, but didn't really have any fear of them, or any notions of them. They were for other people. Dentists were one of the weird exotic people she went to appear like other people, and who she occasionally met socially. She had a very brief relationship with one, right out of college, that never evolved more then 5 dates and 2 fucks. She remembered the brief relationship mostly for his comment of how pretty her teeth were. When he mentioned that, unlike a doctor, he could legally treat her, Sarah had wondered if that would become a problem later. But it all sorted itself out when she learned he laughed a too little loud at movies.


- Sarah was fairly pale. When people quizzed her on it, she said she had Irish blood in her - which was true - but in truth, no amount of sun would cause her to tan. In fiction there are stories of perfect maidens of might flying off into the cornea of the sun. That seemed like an awful bother, and she could be kind of lazy. Better to look quasi-goth. Except she had red hair.


- Sarah's skin prevented her from getting any tattoos. In college Sarah liked tattoos on guys, and gotten several temporary ones - but nope. Her skin didn't let it work at all. Which was okay. It was ironic, as she worked in one of the few professional industries where a lot of visible tattoos is not going to hurt your employment


- Same for piercings. She didn't have earrings. When she she did wear them they were clip-on. For an art geek she had fairly limited knowledge of it. Both of these together were why she had never seriously gone punk. It would look kind of silly on her.


-Sarah's metabolism was kind of screwy. She ate a fair amount, and had at times tried to diet, but how much she did eat rarely effected her that much. Sarah tended to gain and loose about 15 pounds and two pants sizes with some frequency - sometimes within a month, going from 'plump', to the 'large side of average'. She usually tended to stay at rubenseque, and yes over the last 5 or six years she had gained more - but she attributed it to her superheroing and the constant constant excretes that entailed (on an average night she ran maybe 100 miles) to her gaining a lot of muscle - but some was certainly fat.


- This was particularly noticeable on her boobs. For those who have paid close to the stories, you will note that her boobs are sometimes described as D cups, or E. This isn't a mistake. Her breasts, sometimes on a day by day basis, grew and shank. Not dramatically, but noticeably on her foundation garments.


-This meant she had actually three sets of clothing that she took in and out of storage on a regular basis. It was one of the reasons that, for the most part, none of her outfits were all that expensive. It would get to her. However, she could rotate things better this way, so for a woman some of her clothing was fairly old for a 27 year old.


- It also meant that she looked to be maybe a 160 pounds to the average person. She actually weighted 320. Her muscles were very big, and very strong. But that was just a number.


These were the things she primarily noticed day to day. However, the stuff you might think, her strength, her stamina, didn't weigh on her mind so much. Average society had cars, trucks-it encouraged a kind of sedentary lifestyle which meant one rarely actually lifted very much weight. Sarah lived in a city and in an industry that encouraged a kind of bodybuilders mentality, of lifting 100s of pounds to achieve sweaty perfection. The shows producer, Robert Haskins, looked damn swollen, like someone out of a muscle of fitness magazine. But how much did he actually use this sitting behind a desk?


This was despite the fact that her job did involve a certain amount of lifting, it was never that much. The definition of a prop was something someone lifted - which meant it was liftable. Or if not liftable by an average person, lighter. The guns she used where mostly fake ones that weighed maybe a pound. Boxes labelled 'Heavy' were just empty boxes.


Once, when they did an episode of the show in a gym, she posed for a photo carrying a 500 pound weight over her head, with one hand, laughing.


Of course, it really weighed maybe 5 pounds.


Now this was abstractly not all that funny. A stupid sight gag. Out of something from Johnny Carson.


But to her it was hilarious! It had been the wallpaper on her computer for a couple of months. Which was perhaps yet another sign how different she was from other people.


However, her wallpaper was eventually replaced with a picture of her cat, so it all worked out in the end.


All of this meant one thing: That when Sarah was out and about - as she was one day when she went shopping in a Target store at Manhattan Beach - that when circumstances required her to have superpowers - it sometimes forgot her.
(Note for non-American audiences: Target ia a large retail chain, selling stuff like clothing, children's bikes, garden supplies - things you wouldn't find in a grocery store. Except recently it had moved very heavily into groceries. It was a store that lacked a lot of focus. Also technically speaking, it ruled about 1/3 of Canada. However, this rarely came up)


Sarah was shopping there for things one bought at Target. Her list included bras, oil for her car, soda, and possibly some jeans if she was in the mood.


None of these items were in her cart.


She was in fact in the DVD section. Target had a fairly good selection actually. In an industry that was drying up the target selection was pretty much the place to go if you wanted actual DVD's, and didn't want to go to Amazon - no more Blockbusters, Barnes and Nobles, or Sam Goodies - just, well... This was somehow heartening really - yep, it still existed.


And there was a copy of the movie Lone Ranger in Sarah's hand.


Sarah hadn't seen it, which was slightly troubling. The Lone Ranger was a superhero movie, and she usually watched pretty much every one of them that came out (and Sarah would have been interested to know there had been 60 in the last 10 years). Yep, she had watched them - even Super Capers, a movie that played about 20 theatres, stared the star of Dungeons and Dragons, and was pretty, cheapily, terrible) But she hadn't seen that one yet.


She knew that it didn't review well, though, and she had heard it was mostly an excuse to give Johnny Depp to play Weird Redface. She was still going to watch it.


The question was: Would she spend 25 bucks for the privilege, to own a physical copy she could watch any time?


She considered it.


The DVD case itself was pretty nice, and she had thought the second trailer was kind of visually interesting in a western way without going too heavily into steampunk, which was getting a tad tiresome in mainstream movies.


So she considered a little longer. Definitely not the Blueray. She didn't like paying extra for Blueray.


It was at this time that a loading truck hit one of the aisles, an aisle that wasn't properly bolted to the ground, and knocked it over. The aisle holding a great quantity of decorative rugs...


And there was suddenly a great amount of screaming in the store.


Which is where the story came to a fore. Sarah went from busy reading the DVD copy about a superhero, to actually being a superhero.


She shook her head.


Sarah reached into her grocery cart, and pulled out her costume bag.


And looked around.


People seemed to be lost in a panic, and it wasn't that crowded, which was good.


Because she was starting to hum the William Tell Overture...


Sarah grabbed her bag and ran into the pet food section. "Dah dadadh dahdadha, dah dadah dahdahdha, dah dadadahd dahdadh, dahdahddhahdah..."


The pet food section was empty. She was pretty quick at this, and in a few seconds she was down to her bra and panties.


She was going to get a new set actually. Should she slip over and take one? No, no...that would be dishonest. These would have to do.


She pulled up her pants and tugged on her boots - but just as she was going to put on her top an old man walked in.


"What the...?"


"Can you excuse me?" asked Mazing Girl. "I could use a little privacy here!"


And he turned and walked away. Which was pretty decent of him.


"Dah dadadh dahdadha, dah dadah dahdahdha, dah dadadahd dahdadh, dahdahddhahdah..."


'Mazing Girl ran through the store.


The aisle was half on its side, hitting the other side as it did. People were crawling out underneath.


Sarah grabbed hold of the 5 tons of plastic and steel (and semi quality carpeting) and pulled it to the side. It was stable enough now.


She looked in. There appeared to be someone buried in pillows. Though probably he or she had hit their head.


"Do dedededo do, Do dedededo do"


She ran over towards her (it was obvious about 20 feet that it was a woman) though she looked to be kind of punkish lesbian where one might initially be confused, like when Sarah's vision was slightly out of focus from taking off her glasses off, or you where being homophobic(and given sarahs recent life decisions...ahh). what she was doing in the throw pillows aisle at Target wasn't sure.


She pushed the pillows off to see her face - the woman was out of it, unnnscious from a pretty bad concussion. She was, however, breathing.


"Someone call an ambulance!" suggested someone who came up behind her.


"Good idea!" agreed Sarah. "You do that."


"I came to buy a new cellphone. I lost mine yesterday at Jewish delicatessen"


Sarah seethed slightly. The fact that it was a Jewish delicatessen wasn't something she needed to know. I mean, was there even such a thing as a non-jewish delicatessen, to serve unkosher meat? She supposed that Halal was kind of the same thing, but not really. And anyway, markets weren't called delicatessens, but were typically just called markets.


And there she went thinking stupid stuff. What kind of adventure was this?


Badah bum.


"Hey!" another man said. "Something weird is going on at the front of the store."


"Dah dadadh dahdadha, dah dadah dahdahdha, dah dadadahd dahdadh, dahdahddhahdah."


Sarah rushed forward...and then tripped on some pillows.


"Dah dadadh dahdadha, dah dadah dahdahdha, dah dadadahd dahdadh, dahdahddhahdah..."


She got up and looked at her knee. It wasn't skinned or hurt, it just looked normal - which was something that was slightly shocking to her, but still...


"Do dedededo do, Do dedededo do, do dedoedeodeodedoedeodeo.....dooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!"


This was the back of the store, the ceiling was 20 feet tall - not really enough space to jump. But all Target outlets have a huge menacing aisle that usually held strollers and Nature CD's. She jumped over it in a quick leap, bending her head slightly.


Badad bum.


She saw what the guy was talking about. 10 or so thieves - not wearing masks and white stripped shirts - (again, not with the shirts) were at the cash registers. They had guns. The security guard had probably heard the commotion in the back - which they had caused - now they're free to do their business. Except...


"dah dadadh dum dum dud, dah dadah dadumdum, dah dadadahd dummmmmm, dahdahddhahdah"


She spoke loudly in the middle of the aisles, where according to probability theory the most traffic was, "Stop you thieves! Or..."


One of the thieves very quickly put a gun to a cashiers head.


"Or what?" he asked.


Dededededededededed de de de de deeeeeee de de dedeeeh de dede dedede de do do do do.


She just played the tune in her head, as humming at this point would be kind of crass.


Sarah felt that talk would be useless now, as well.


So she grabbed a pair of jeans off a nearby rack - not her size, they were just convenient.


DEDEDED DEDED DEDEDEDEDE. Ded du...


Then she paused. This wasn't going to help..


The thief looked perplexed, and he moved his gun ever so slightly..


DE de dede deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee,ded dededededededede.....


Sarah saw a shopping cart and pushed it forward, springing a large amount of merchandise everywhere...as it hit the guy straight in the chest.


dah dah dah dah dah dah dah dah dah dah..dah dadada. Dadadaha.da da dad dada dadad dadaddada ......


He hit a cash register and was knocked out.
The other robbers all looked at each other, and raised their hands in surrender.


daha dad da dah dah dah ded dededed de ded dedd.........


DUmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmM!!!!!!


And Sarah looked around looking for cheers at the end of the music. except no one was actually hearing it except her.


******


That night Sarah did buy the DVD, even if she ended up picking her backpack up and going to another Target. The movie was actually very good. Arnie Hammer was a good actor, and he had the chops to play an action hero better then a lot of big actions heroes. He seemed to realise that his career as a leading man was at stake, and had given it a good college try. The box office takings, and some of the other performances that didn't live up it, notwithstanding, it was good, fun movie.


And when they played William Tell Overture, she hummed so loud her cat left the room.


But it was fun, because no matter what powers she possessed, anybody could hum the William Tell overture, and be human. just like her.


Despite the fact that she forgot to brush her teeth that night and suffered no ill consequences whatsoever.


None.

Soylent Green is...

Sarah felt trepedation, more so then she had in a fair amount of time. Calling it fear would be a little far, but giddy would be too far in the other direction. Trepidation.

She was about 90% sure that she was going to have sex tonight.

Now this was reasonably rare for her. She had had sex in the last year or so - as recently as last week, in fact, with her likely sex partner. About 6 times either way. But never at 90 percent. Never with the sense of, 'yeah, this is going to happen tonight'.

But she was not...absolutely sure.

And which did she want?

It was a Friday night, and Sarah had had a decent day at work. She had gotten a fair amount done on props for a medical office, which were always fun. Two days before Lana had called - using a phone, something Sarah was sure that the Eternal Flame would never deign to use - it would interfere with her mysteriousness - but yes, apparently by pressing a series of numbers on a keypad Lana could call her and speak to her, asking her if she wanted to do anything Friday night. In so many words.

Sarah knew the game. This 'being a superhero' game. It could be mind bogglingly busy: A crisis was always coming up, and 'Mazing Girl always had to save the city. Or somedays, ehh. You had go out and look for trouble, and often (but not always) find it but, yeah: she could take a night off. Of course, predicting which night was which...

But Sarah said yes.

And so it was decided that, after going to the art musuem the week before, Sarah would come over and they would watch Soylent Green.

For those not familiar Soylent Green: It's a movie about overpopulation. Soylent Green is, in some ways, kind of dated...but interesting. Soylent Green...made in the period between Planet of the Apes, which was a huge hit, and Star Wars, which was a bigger hit...in a period where big budget sci fi movies could be about ideas. Soylent Green is visually interesting, occasionally hammy in spots, and some of the sci fi ideas are a tad dated in places, prescient in others (the virtual reality scene at the end was a trip). Soylent Green is, probably, the movie that invented Cyberpunk, without having any cyber or punk.

Soylent Green...was a movie she had on Blue Ray. Even though it had never been released on Blue Ray. Because, well, she was amazing, and she had the kind of connections to make that happen.

(Actually, it had been released on Blue Ray in a limited edition, but Sarah did not have the power to know that. She could toss around cruise ships though, so best not to take that away from her)

But as she sat in her her car wearing normal work clothes - or, in fact, slightly better and sexier then normal work clothes, that to a casual eye would look like work clothes -  and spent a couple of minutes doing her makeup. She wondered if Lana (the dark mysterious avenger called the Flame, who went through the city burning things) would be impressed. Sarah was a pretty-ish curvy girl, who had a tad of earthiness to her. She was the most powerful woman in the city, and an behind-the-scenes person in the TV industry, though she didn't have any tattoos. She had a cat, an apartment and...

She was a she.

That shouldn't really get her she thought but there you go.

Sarah had, 3 times, what might be called sexual contact with women, counting the previous weeks escapade. Prior to that it had happened twice. It had all, as the expression went, made sense at the tim. Or, more correctly, alcohol and laughs had made it make sense at the time. This didn't quite make sense.

But here she was, with a fellow superhero, nonetheless. Well, life was funny. At some point a comics company (not DC, or Marvel, but Boom. You can be forgiven for not hearing about them) had come to her and suggested Her own Comic book. Turning it down had been the hardest thing in her life, 'cause well, without her secret identity, what was there to her life? 'Mazing girl was kind of a bland, pleasant hero, for the most part, who tried to save the day. It felt slightly detached. Also because her agent had pointed out that the comic involved giving away some of her life rights if they ever wanted to make a movie about her, which he thought someday could get top dollar.

But the point was: her life was funny. I am not sure why I went on that tangent.

Sarah climbed out of her car and walked to the door, going through Lana's very large front yard. Looking at the house - the word mansion may not describe it...but, well...the English language didn't quite contain the words otherwise. Sarah looked into a driveway and saw a Lexus. She looked over a landscaped space that looked fairly impeccable, in a vaguely Tudor way. She looked on at a piece of property in the heart of Los Angeles that was impeccable and beautiful.

And here she was in jeans and a nice-ish shirt/blouse type thing, holding a DVD and a Little Caesar's Mushroom Pizza. She felt a little weird, like a delivery woman instead of someone who was 90% likely going to have sex with the owner.

Which she had almost forgot.

Mentally it had been a long two minutes.

But she knocked on the door and heard distinct weird buzzing noises...and the door was open. Like weird things unlocking and...

There was Lana. There was the Flame. Wearing a camisole style tanktop and yoga pants. She looked...slightly less dressed then Sarah. Huh?

"Whats that?" asked Lana.

"What?"

"The pizza box."

"Little Caesar's."

Lana paused. "That's vaguely familiar. They sell two pizzas, and they have a man in a toga as there mascot."

Sarah paused. "No. Well...maybe was that the case. Anyway, this was one of those pizza's, if you go over, they have ready. I picked some up..."

Lana considered. "I can't recall the last time I had pizza like that. Or really any. This will be fun."

Sarah shook her head. Huh?

They entered, and went to a living room that wasn't really the size of her condo. That would be unfair to her space. She had two bedrooms after all. This one was maybe...60%. That sounded right. It was however very nice, with lots of soft woods, and house plants, and shit. A good space. With a large TV and a really large couch, which sitting on Sarah got the distinct impression had never been sat on before - not that it was new, and this was entirely an elaborate rouse to capture her and take over...but well...it just hadn't been used.

She looked at Lana, who sat on the other end of the couch. Who was she?

They put the video in, and it started...straight into the movie, as legal - but not studio issued - Blue Ray played.

Soylent Green took some time to setup its story. Soylent Green is, basically, a murder mystery set in an over-populated future, a world that appears to be going through  something similar to the Greenhouse Effect, though that term didn't exist when the film was made. Prescient.

Sarah watched it...but she also watched Lana.

She also ate pizza.

And so did Lana, who, Sarah watched eat pizza. It was dainty. She wasn't a pizza blotter, but she ate it..and it...it was something. Sarah wasn't a watcher of food but this was something.

This was getting to be a complicated event.

Lana, of course, had never watched the movie, so it was new to her. This wasn't an action movie, really, and definitely not a comedy - so there wasn't a lot of thrills, chills or laughs.

Yet after the pizza was over, Lana moved over and put her arms around Sarah.

"So, what is the secret of the Soylent Green?" asked Lana as they leaned together.

"You really don't know?" asked Sarah.

"No," said Lana. "As I mentioned, I never watched the movie before...but it's interesting."

"A heatwave all year long...a greenhouse effect..." Charleston Heston was saying in the movie.

No...wait. This was made in 1972. Sarah thought that the greenhouse effect wasn't something they discovered until the 80's. Damn, this was prescient. But there was a question...

"Oh. Soylent Green...lets watch the movie."

Lana nodded. "It's fun to watch movies. I don't really do it much. I fell out of the habit at some point.

"The movie looks neat," said Sarah.

"You work in that industry, don't you?" asked Lana.

"Props," said Sarah, "I do props"

Sarah looked on ,feeling a shoulder next to her. "I came into art design - it's kind of movies like this that caused me to get into it - it's an evocative world. Richard Fliesher the director was never all that great with actors or anything, but he's good at making the movie look interesting."

Lana nodded."It's a take on what people in the 70's would call today. Not so much the future but, today."

"Doctor Doolittle, Conan, The Fantastic Voyage...he just had an eye for visual detail."

Lana nodded "This isn't a painting, but it's something to see."

Which Sarah felt. And she put her arm back around her and drew Lana into her. Lana didn't object. And she really couldn't object, now, could she? Sarah was a thousand times stronger then her.

They sat for almost an entire act in silence. Two people together.

"I wanted to be an art director," said Sarah. "But other then some porn, and a couple of other really low budget stuff, I never got into it, so I went into props. It's easier to do with my other life."

Lana nodded.

"Know the feeling."

And then she kissed her.

Sarah hadn't remembered if they had actually kissed before. It was perhaps a shame of their relationship - if that's what they had. Sex was still a blur to her, the simple bit where their lips met had never quite happened.

But it happened now. Lana was a good kisser. It wasn't sweetness, it wasn't passion, but it was there. There was a power to the kiss, a sense that Sarah was vaguely connecting something to somehow that was tangible. Sarah was with someone. and that's what it was. Now there was no question. Something existed...

And as Lana felt her arms...then nuzzled her head in her boobs with strange passion for a passionless woman, it was very sexual.

Now Sarah was up to 91...94%...

Now that was a hand undoing her pants. This was a go.

******

They stopped the movie. Sarah was simply holding Lana in her arms a bit. It was a weird sensation, one that she felt wasn't bad. Some of the tension was gone. Now she definitely knew. Lana wasn't a friend in the same industry who she'd had a one-time fling with. That was a weirdly cheery sensation. To think beyond any thoughts of girlfriend or fuckbuddy, or any other words one would asscribe, now they definitely weren't that.

Which kind of removed some of her power.

Sarah had once read that supergirls gained a lot of the power from their costume, from their attitude. To simply take off there clothes and have sex with them - to remove their mask took that away. That, hell, that was true of just about any woman to a degree. A nude woman was a nude woman. A nude woman, in this case, with an extremly large bush. This was sexist and dehumanizing, but it was a falacy to say a woman couldn't do that. She tickled Lana's pubic hair. It was fuzzy. A rats nest, but fuzzy. Huh.

Sarah smiled. Was there any pizza left?

Then...she felt something.

"Need to go," said Sarah abruptly.

"What?"

"Superhero stuff now."

And Sarah got up.

And realised that she had left her superhero bag in the car.

And she was naked.

She grabbed her shirt, and was out of the door in like 2 seconds, before realizing she had parked on the street about 40 feet away...and well, doing anything more would remove the immediate emergency that was needed. despite the fact that she was pantsless, i repeat pantsless.
 

Well, she put her costume on when she got to the car.

Because she was going....

*****

'Mazing landed 10 miles out to sea.

"Mazing girl!" said a guy, probably the Captain. "I never expected this."

Sarah stood in the crows nest.

"Oh! You're Amazing Girl!" said a sailor with a greek accent. "I excepted someone taller!"

'Mazing Girl got that occasionally. But very rarely, as she was a decent hight.

And ever more rarely on ships that were swarming with pirates.

Actually, 'swarming' may have been overstatement.

"There's about five of them," said the Captain. "We were parking off the harbour, ready to get into port tommorow. We put out a call to the Coast Guard, but they're coming."

'Mazing Girl nodded. The Coast Guard was loud...she wasn't.

She heard automatic fire. Well, Sarah thought, she had surprise on her side, but that was gone now.

"Normally with pirates, they try to take the crew," the Captain told her.

"Is there anything valuable, on the ship or anything?" said 'Mazing Girl.

"Dunno," said the Captain. "We don't have a manifest."

Sarah didn't know that, but would read that the next day. Most ships these days litterally had no idea what was being carried in order to avoid thieves. Fun fact. Except for the pirates. and who knows, pirates could be fun.

Especially when sarah looked down from the raised dais to see that at least one of the pirates had an impressive beard.

"I got everyone on board up here," said the Captian.

"Theres only 8 of you," observed Sarah.

"Standard crew size these days."

Sarah read a lot the next day about the modern day transport industry. It was neat. Her granddad was a sailor.

That was it. He sailed.

But in the meantime

"Stay here," said Sarah "We'll try to get our pirate friends."

"They're no friend of me," said the Greek sailor.

"It's an expression."

***

Sarah casually jumped 30 feet down from the nest to the main floor, making a loud thump.

She walked over.

She saw a boat with a guy in it.

Best to cut off their escape. She had a working theory. There was something really valuable onboard. These pirates were there to get it. In Los Angeles Harbour, which wasn't exactly Somalia. Find it, get out. Smash and grab.

Sarah jumped, and landed in what looked to be a speed boat.

And then went through the bottom of the not-as-strong-as-you-might-think boat.

Damn.

Sarah didn't go all the way through. She grabbed the bottom with her arm but, she was still half in the water when she did.

The guy in the boat was looking very surprised, but got himself together and started to shoot at her with an AK-47.

Fuck.

This was hurting.

And then she felt bellow her that a shark bit her.

Fuck.

The shark cinched her legs a bit - not in a painful way.

But then he let go. Sarah knew that sharks tended to attack by taking a bite, letting go, and waiting for you to bleed out. Except she wasn't bleeding all that badly in the scheme of things. It was more like a scrape on her knee than a wound normally inflicted by sharks teeth.

It was the AK that was hurting.

She let go of the top of the boat and was underwater. The bullets were no longer hitting.

The shark  -who dimly looked like some kind of reefer, not a great white, but a reef shark - was away with a kind of smug, 'any minute now I am going to have human flesh' kind of way.

Sarah punched him for being stupid. He quickly swam away.

Then Sarah grabbed the edge of the small boat, and overturned it and the guy. He dropped his gun and screamed.

******

Sarah grabbed the guy (not leaving him for the sharks) and with one arm climbed up a rope to the main deck of the boat. She took the rope afterwards, and tied him up.

"So, where are the rest of your guys?"

"No hablo...no speak English."

"Oh, come on, you're clearly Greek," Mazing Girl observed.

"And that makes me speak english?" the guy demanded.

Sarah sighed.

Then Sarah scanned the deck, and she saw Beardy. She liked Beardy.

She ran up to him at about 50 miles an hour, and then politely taped his shoulder.

"Drop your gun."

He did so.

Nice guy, Beardy.

She picked him up and ran 50 miles an our back to the other guy, and used more of the rope to tie Beardy up. She didn't bother questioning him, as she liked him to much to be annoyed.

Okay 2...that was 3 more and...

She heard shots.

On the far side of the boat someone was shooting. No...wait...was it a boat or a ship? She knew there was a diffrence.

Again, next day: Wikipedia.

But now, she walked toward the gunman with a moment of caution. He didn't nearly have a beard - but he did keep shooting.

And shooting.

it's fun to say that 'Mazing girl got shot and shot dozens of times before his gun ran out of bullets. And they did run out...but none of them actually hit her or anything.

It's hard to shoot a gun at, what...10:30 already?

He looked down to reload.

She grabbed his gun and turned it into make-shift handcuffs - she needed a funny name for them, like a Coney Island white fish, or something.

Then she noted something...why he was shooting.

There were about a dozen boats. Some of which looked like they carried Navy Seals.

What were they carrying on this ship?

Was it soylent green?

Ahh...she didn't care.

***

The first Coast Guard came 5 minute latter aboard ship. There were two more guys on the ship, theoretically, but she left them for the Coast Guard. She and Navy Seals had a thing she didn't want to get into, 'cause of that one time...with the noodles. Not a good scene...besides...

She jumped 10 miles over the harbour. The water was pretty at night.

She thought about going home. But she had her stuff back at Lana's...including her car and her wallet. And..

The entire thing had taken 45 minutes by the time she knocked on Lana's door, still in costume.

More weird noises, and Lana came down and opened it.

Lana had dressed agian as well. "'Didn't know if you'd come back."

Sarah nodded. "Left my stuff."

"I took the liberty of folding it neatly for you," said Lana, "If you want to come in."

Sarah did see that Lana had cleaned up. The space was once agian immaculate, clean whites, nice spaces.

Sarah got dressed in another room, putting on her street clothes. She didn't have her costume bag, but that was clearly enough.

"So," said Lana.

Was this the end? Of the date - and they had sex, so it probably was a date. Was it the end of the them?

And Sarah realized the most important revleation of the night.

She didn't want it to. She wanted to spend some more time in this weird imaculate house, and watch movies with Lana...and be.

She was people. Lana was a real person who was very, very, different from Sarah, but had something. 

"Do you want to watch the rest of the movie?" asked Sarah.

"Sure."

And so they sat down and watched. And had two peices of cold pizza. They only had, like, 20 minutes of a very trippy, weird climax. The movie was known for its ending. But that was actually the second act break, as Charleston Heston tried (and failed) to save to the day. It wasn't great..

But Lana was...people. The movies where people, and for the time being at least. Lana was her... people.

And that was the secret of Soylent Green.   

.......

"Oh! they're all cannibals!" said Lana after it was over. "That's pretty dark."


The End...