Tuesday, December 17, 2013
Hear 'Mazing Girl Tweet!
Whether Mazing girl had, technically speaking, saved Los Angeles from utter destruction she didn't quite know. There were knowns; there were unknowns...and there were known unknowns. And there was also a giant cloud of psychic darkness that threatened to sweep up the city.
That last one was pretty bad, but she had managed to stop it. When it went over people it tended to cause them to scream and cry. And it was expanding. Whether it would have truely expanded to cover a really gigantic city - and then the country...the world? Sarah didn't know. At the center of it was 65-year-old former actress who had taken the wrong medication, which - as these things tend to do - either turned her into a being of incredible psychic power, or maybe she always was. That was confusing. In any case, she had the mental juju to suck the life from everyone.
Okay, 'Mazing Girl had saved Los Angeles.
And becuse she was so awesome, she decided to buy herself an IPAD.
I mean, she deserved it. Did I mentioned the screaming people?
So she went into a Best Buy, and looked around. She didn't find the color she wanted. Okay...
Then she went to Frys Electronics, a cool local store that was an electronics store with an Hawaiian them. She liked it, but didn't find the stuff she wanted.
The search was turning into a crisis, as she wanted to spend 400 bucks on a foolish electronics gift for herself, and god dammit, she wanted it now!!! Pherg...
But then, on a whim, she went into a Walmart. And gosh-darn, they had it! Yeah!!! She wanted to jump around the store she was feeling so good. But she didn't, as that would have ruined the whole secret identity thing.
Instead, she took it home.
Well, she actually she opened the box in the car and turned it on to look around the interface for a few minutes.
But she got home.
Her cat was there to great her, as was his want. She smiled and picked him up in his slightly curious manner. Super Skittles was a curious cat when she let him. She lived in a fairly small condo, but Sarah fantasised about a world where people had a cat park - where cats could roam around. Like dog parks for cats.
That was kind of a cool idea, actually, but such places didn't actually exist.
She had a small balcony, and went outside to pet super skittles a bit, taking the ipad with her. She could see a little bit of LA out here - the city that asked her time and again to save it, but ignored her ideas for feline parks.
So she went on her actual twitter feed and tweeted about it.
The twitter had about 150 people on it. Most of them work friends, though some nerds. Sarah had a reputation in certain circles as a hot nerd-girl. Yet she never really capitalised on it, or became a real pressence like other people. Partially because she wanted to keep a low profile, and partially because a social media presence like this wasn't something super interesting.
She could follow the offical mazing girl twitter feed, which has 200,000 members.
Of course, there were two reasons she didn't:
1. She didn't actually write that one. Who did? Sarah wasn't quite sure. She knew her agent was involved, and had set it up through verified tweet methodology. She could write it, but didn't. It wasn't actually a good twitter feed either. Mainly kind of bland pleasentries and entreatments to follow your dreams - except the writer was no Shaquille O'Niel. But then, who was?
2. This irksome concern: She couldn't really share her idea about specialized cat parks to the world as'Mazing Girl.
Then a few more things occurred to her.
3. Her cat was very cute. She took a picture of it using her iPad. She couldn't show pictures of how cute the cat was...
4. She had a new iPad. She couldn't tell the world how great it was either...not on that feed.
5. She couldn't express her irritation over how they wheren't stocked properly at Frys or Best buys
and, well, that was all fuckable...
6. She couldn't tweet the world how she wished she could tweet this list.
She looked at her feed. She, Sarah Jennings, followed 'Mazing Girl.Hah hah! You mysterious stranger...
"Woman at centre of Cerritos cloud in medical custudy. Glad thats over. Phew"
Okay. There was nothing in that tweet that was specifically untrue - but she was, at the same time, feeling actually pretty giddy about the entire thing, not depressed. Which was something 'Mazing Girl couldn't express when peoples lives were in danger, and they were screaming - but they were all better now.
Someone on her regular feed retweeted something from Taylor Swift - a picture of her shoe closet.
She couldn't do that.
Literally couldn't as she didn't have a shoe closet, but the principal was there.
Granted there was perhaps sense of 'wow you have this many shoes girl?" - but well...Taylor Swift was a celebrity, and rich, and not really a terrible song writer (that one song she did about breaking-up wasn't horrible, Sarah admitted. Ms Swift deserved to have nice things.
And Sarah deserved to have nice things.
And she deserved to tell the world what she felt and thought. The world needed to know what it was like - to sit outside in el Segundo, and maybe get a beer wearing just your bra and playing with your new electronics device...that probabbly she didn't need and wouldn't use very much...and just be with the world.
And then she went and got a Tecate Mexican-style beer from the fridge - and then maybe, just maybe, she turned on the Mazing girl twitter feed.
"Cat Parks: parks where you can take your cats like dogs. And there's play equipment. And they can play with other cats. Thoughts?"
Except that was too long.10 too many characters.
Cat Parks: A park were you can you take your cats like dogs.& theres play stuff.&they play with other cats. Thoughts? @catpark"
Plenty to spare now!
Super Skittles pawed at her stomach
And the official 'Mazing Girl twitter account tweeted it.
For about 10 seconds.
Then Sarah deleted it.
She was a coward.
There was a concept in the world of fear - she didn't know all that much about it, of what really pushed you to the limit. It was something that she rarely, in an absolute, sense felt much of. Giant monsters, tanks - none of it really scared her. But this...
Three days later she was patrolling the city. She was, specifically, looking around Cerritos, a small suburb. It was a mix of decent-ish homes and weirdly pricey business developments. She was looking to make sure there was no evil clouds. The woman with the drug thing? She was 99% sure it was all taken care of, but best always to check. However, Cerritos itself always looked pretty clean.
Someone was driving very eratically down the street.
Then stopped in the middle of the road.
Sarah jumped down from the building to investigate.
It was one of the moments that was, well...that was her job. This could turn out to be nothing. Or it could be a drunk driver, which was pretty shitty but was one of those things. She tended to take someone's keys and give them to the police. Which made her feel pretty silly. And from a superhero's perspective, a drunk driver was also pretty close to nothing.
Or it may be something else entirely.
There were many things in the world - exciting and amazing and yes: superheroic. But...well the chances weren't great it would be anything like that.
She pulled up in front of the car and looked inside.
There was a man in the driver's seat.
Beside him, sitting with her hand on his forehead, was The Flame.
"Um," was all Sarah could think to say. She hoped she said it loud enough.
The man's forehead hit the wheel.
And the The Flame prompty walked out of the car with efficent movements.
"sorry 'bout that. he's wanted by the fbi for connections to some very high-level arms dealing. He's the kind of man who supplies rebel armies in africa. charming fellow. in any case I'm going to deposit him with them, but first I was in the process of finding out everything he knew. 'everything he ever cared about, or loved. then I'm going to destroy it."
"Huh" said 'Mazing Girl.
Normally when The Flame said something dark and twisted like that, the 'huh' was internal - just what she thought. But nope...it audible this time. Flame was being particularly creepy...
"Do you need any help?" Mazing Girl asked.
"he's not going to be conscious anytime soon," said Flame. "i think i can manage."
'Mazing Girl shook her head and turned. "Well..."
"cat park?" Flame inquired.
"What?" 'Mazing girl gasped. Again, uncharacteristically out loud. It took her a second to remember her stupid idea.
"i'm not reading your mind. I saw your tweet about it."
'Mazing Girl shook her head. "I deleted it."
"you can't delete anything on the internet, I'm afraid - once it's out there it's in the ether. but for me it was just computer programs. i hope you don't think it creepy that I follow you. Well, I don't...a bot I created does. and it's not you really, but one of your agent's friends, i suspect."
'Mazing Girl nodded.
"so...a cat park? how would it work?"
"Like a normal dog park where cats could play with each other and stuff. Maybe have ribbon days, things like that."
Flame paused. "i am not sure that would work well - aren't cats rather territorial?"
"But cats like to play together."
"when they've known each other a real long time."
Sarah paused. Maybe she had a point. If she said it out loud, maybe it would sound dumb.
"This is exactly the kind of stuff I can't do. I can't tweet. I can't tell people the crazy stupid stuff I want. I'm a person!! I want to tweet about cat parks!"
Flame paused. "i'm not on twitter." She turned her head. "in any case, it seems foolish."
"But you can just let off what's on your mind. Except I can't.
The Flame shook her head. "i know what your saying."
Suddenly, there was a loud pop, and The Flame's body was suddenly covered in blood, the rich red fluid bursting out of her chest as she was shot, her body jerking violently.
'Mazing Girl turned. The gun runner, surprisingly enough, had a gun. And he was concious.
"Stupid shit" he declared, aiming the gun again.
And 'Mazing Girl raced to put her body between the Flame and her attacker...getting there just quick enough to feel something hit her shoulder.
It didn't break the skin or anything, but it did hurt.
"Stupid shit!" she shot back at him.
"Yeah," said the man,
He then did something that you never see in movies, but was a surprisingly effective tactic. He turned the gun towards his own head.
"Don't get any closer or I'll blow my own brains out."
As a hero who respected human life, it was one of those moments that Sarah had to deal with a fair amount. Not a real good situation. He didn't seem suicidal, but quick movements now could lead to more bloodshed. It was the kind of bluff you couldn't call
Sarah sighed. She had a friend behind her that she had to take care of. And Flame was her friend. And she couldn't even turn her head right now to see if was okay.
and then then she heard Flame's quiet voice.
"pull the trigger."
"This isn't one of your stupid intimidation games," Sarah warned.
"no...his bullets don't work any more. i burned out the ignition trigger. i usually do that with a bigger bang, but made it subtle this time."
'Mazing Girl walked forward slowly. The guy looked on in fear. But as she came to him, he just handed over the gun.
And she hit his head with it, watching as he fell over unconscious. As he did, the gun went off into the air. Huh?
She turned back to Flame, who somehow was still standing - despite the fact that she was clinging to her bleeding arm.
'Mazing Girl ran over, taking off her cape.
"don't put that on it, dear. the bacteria on it is worse the bullet at this point."
'Mazing Girl shook her head and looked. The bullet wound was over Flame's breast.
"I wouldn't classify that as my shoulder, but it hurts...but I'll live. Missed the heart by maybe four inches."
Then she collapsed on the ground.
Blood so much blood.
mazing girl screamed.
"Don't scream," said the Flame, using normal capitalization. "Please don't...it won't help anything."
"But...but..." said 'Mazing Girl, grabbing hold of her and putting her in her arms. "Please be okay."
"give me a second here." She closed her eyes. And the wound started to burn.
"don't touch it."
A small flame went off as there was now a large burn mark on her hsoulder.
And then she shakily stood up.
"okay. I'll live...bullets still in there, but i have a private clinic I go to for things like this. A doctor I saved."
"Things like this?"
"i've been shot before."
"You've been shot. I just saw you. you think it doesn't happen to me? You just deal with these contingencies. i am calling it a night, and probably for a week or so...but i'll be okay."
The flame looked at her. "we're in Cerritos. I parked my car in Artesia. Take this guy to the police...tell them to run his prints. i'll borrow his car to get to my own. i'll recounter with the bureau tomorrow. tell them what you wish."
"Your emotions aren't helping you. Your silly thoughts about cat parks aren't helping you. Just going with the plan and doing what needs to be done...that's helping you."
Sarah sighed. She had a point. She wasn't just Sarah Jennings: goofball nerd. She was 'Mazing Girl, and had a duty to the world to be serious in times like these.
"and thank you, for saving my life," said The Flame as she went to the car.
"Your welcome," said 'Mazing Girl. Then there was a pause.
"Do you want to cat-sit for my cat?"
"what?' asked the flame.
"While your recuperating. Maybe having a cat to play with will help.
And the Flame shook her head.
Then she paused for a second. Just a second...
And then she shook her head agian, before driving off into the night.
And 'Mazing Girl treasured that second...
It was the kind of second that twitter was meant for. But, well...real life would do.