Friday, August 30, 2013

Frequently Seen Bolders

This was boring.

One of the easily forgotten truths of LA (the nebulous city) was that it was gigantic.  Between Santa Barbra at the northwest to say Carlsbad   in the southeast was about 200 miles. There was a lot of empty space between them but still. It was bigger and more populated then, say, Ireland. It was less green but had even more Indian restaurants (which was saying something as the Irish really loved Indian food). But of the ethnic cuisine styles available in LA, it was like 4th or 5th most popular. Which tells you something of the massiveness of LA.

It was big. Mind boggling big. As you drove, every second you find a new valley, a new suburb, a new series of small mountains - that when you drove past was still kind of in LA. Okay, maybe not quite every second, but still more frequently then you would think.

But that kind of got boring after a while.

Sarah was sitting in a car which didn't help. She sat in a car often in her job, as she was driven to various sets, but thanks to the magic of technology she could do a fair amount of work. Now she was in her other job as ‘Mazing Girl (which she didn't like to think of as a job...when she had occasional bouts of unemployment she didn't list it as such). ‘Mazing Girl could do less stuff with a laptop - well she supposedly could keep up on FBI reports and track criminal movements and such - but well she didn't.

So instead she sat. In a car. Bored. She was riding with Jamey, the fantastic Knife Girl who was driving, and because was driving got to pick out music. In this case Shakira’s latest CD. You think you know someone, but then you realize their taste in music.

"I just like how she combines American and South American pop influences."

Sarah nodded. She didn't tell her how she had worked on one of Shakira’s music videos. She had watched it when it was done to see her work, and that was about her exposure to Shakira. Listening to, she supposed, her newest album (wow had so much time past?) she wasn't overly impressed with it.

Jamey bopped along to the music.

However, they were not driving for the thrill of driving. They had a mission! Or something like it. Knife Girl had suggested a training exercise in the desert to hone the skills of the superheros of Los Angeles.

Sarah had agreed.

Knighthawk, when he heard it was knife girls idea, politely declined (it was polite for him...a very well worded email).
Glider had wanted to come but he had a thing.

Eagleman didn't come either, claiming that if he ever left Eaglerock. evil might come in.  He really did love that suburb, which Sarah made a point of avoiding. But God bless him.

No one could find The Flame. She came to them Indian style when she was needed. Or not needed. Or when people invoked Native American stereotypes that may or may not be offensive, it depends. (Note! The Flame wasn't actually Native American).

However, Lavender and Blizzard both had decided to come. Lavender, the ninja from north orange County, and Blizzard, who had the power to create giant jets of cold and for some reason dressed up as an orc. He once told her it made sense if you thought about it. Sarah tried not to.

They where all going to meet at Vasquez Rocks, a desert park in north LA county, which was taking forever to get to.

"Did you hear that that’s the influence of Tabio Niglas? He’s one of Venezuela’s leading musicians."

Sarah looked at Jamey. She considered her a very good friend, but she was not as versed of the subtleties of South American music. She wanted to say something but thought better of it.  She was a very good friend and all.

Thankfully they had only one more time over the horizon to go.


They parked outside the parking lot - partially because they both had to change into their costumes and partially because there was an entrance charge.

Thankfully, no one was around and Sarah was able to slip into her ‘Mazing Girl costume and made a point not to look at Jamey’s really amazing abs. It gave her odd thoughts.

Okay, she tried not to look at Jamey’s abs. Really tried.

There had been a point where they were in a bar like six months ago, and if things had gone differently when the guys egged them on to kiss and that night had developed differently - Sarah had thought more then once on it.

However, as she realized her life may have involved more Shakira music perhaps it was for the best. 

So shaking her head, and glad for her heterosexuality, they got ready.

The idea of the exercise was that Shakira - no wait a second - Lavender would hide in the rocks using her superior ninja skills and the other three of them would have to find her.

Sounded simple enough.

It was about half a mile to the entrance - Sarah picked up Jamey and ran to the entrance in a minute or so.

As they did Sarah looked up. The entire place was vaguely familiar.

Vasquez Rocks. Somehow or other, the name was familiar to her.

"Where have I seen this place before?"

"Ahem," said a voice behind her.

‘Mazing girl turned. To call him portly would be wrong. Wearing a 60s style star trek uniform would be correct. A very good uniform.

"This location was used in many TV Movies from the 50s to today. It’s primarily used in westerns but in many science fiction movies...including five episodes of Star Trek the original series, two episodes of Next Gen, and one episode of voyager. Also in the movie Star Trek 5. It has an alien quality to it which gives it a slightly otherworldly feel with the rock formations, but attaches it to a sense of the western and raw nature, which for shows such as star trek, was very important."

Sarah looked at the guy. For a half a second she was impressed that he knew it - sorry for his geekness - and then suddenly an over whelming shame. She should have known all that. Shame, and a tad of self loathing.

Shows like Star Trek were why she was in LA - she wouldn't do what she did except for it. The science fiction, yes, its universe - but the fact that they made a universe in part with a large pile of rocks and a lot smaller budget then she had to make a show that wasn't trying as hard.  She should respect him.

She bowed her head. "Sorry sir."

"Wow," said another voice. "’Mazing Girl!"

And Sarah realized that the most powerful superhero in the state was apologizing to a guy in a Star Trek uniform.

She looked to see a very thin Asian man wearing a blue uniform of Spock. With the ears.

And then 15 more people in 'uniform' made themselves apparent.

Followed by five Klingons, what looked to be a Romulan couple...and a Tribble? No, but it looked to be the guy from the Tirrlbe episode.

The first guy spoke up.

"I'm leading a tour."

Just then, Jamey came up over a rise.

"Talked to the ranger - they didn't see Blizzard or Lavender. Lavender’s probably hiding herself, and Blizzard...hey what’s going on?

"Greetings, Earthlings", said the guy. "My name is Captian Decker."

"The Captain from the Armageddon factor," said ‘Mazing Girl. "Or his son from Star Trek: The Motion Picture.”

"Yes," said Decker. "What seems to be the problem?"

"Well, we’re supposed to have a group," said Jamey, "Doing a search and rescue training mission in the area, but one of our squad members isn't here yet."

"Oh oh," said a kid in just an adorable little uniform. "Can we help?"

Sarah expected his parents to say something but she beat em to the punch. "Sure can. You guys want to help?”

"We’re supposed to do this as a team" said Jamey.

"I've been doing this longer then you have," said Sarah. Actually, she was the only superhero in Los Angeles who she could say that to (if you didn't count Blizzard who was in OC, and thus kind of didn't count). "And in my experience, part of being a good superhero is knowing how to use the things and people around you. The rules said we were supposed to find lavender - there was nothing that said we couldn't use a team of Star Trek cos-players. Or a horse for a pitcher."

"Should we call the police?" one of the group sensibly asked. Obviously he had the worst costume of the bunch

"This is just a training exercise for fun, to get us at our super best."

Ouch, thought Sarah. Super best? And she was on a game. Ah well, recorder.

"We’ll set our phasers to stun," said fake Asian Spock.

"Or fun!" suggested a Klingon.

Everyone looked at him.

"It was a joke on SNL once," said the Klingon. "Shatner said it."

There was a pause.

"It was a quality show back then.”

Other pause.

"It still has its moments."


Vasquez Rocks was, Lots of rocks. Really, it had a several huge piles of boulders and several square miles of smaller piles of rocks.  It was quite picturesque even for Sarah, who usually didn't care too much for desert.

However, she had business. She and knife girl stayed together scanning the rock piles for signs of a Lavender - the group stayed behind them keeping pace when they weren't distracted (this is where "Kirk fought Actor Dan Tauge playing a Klingon in Fridays Children. Fun fact: Dan Tauge later co-stared with William Shatner on the short-lived series Barbary Coast) or stoped to take tricorder reading. Okay maybe they distracted her a little. However, it turned out the Klingons were also in the Civil Air Patrol and were experts at search and rescue.

"We should establish a large radius pattern," said the male Klingon

"That’s what Kahlass the Uncounqered would do."

Sarah smiled. She was having more fun then she should as she looked around the paths. Knife girl was taking this more seriously and seemed to be ignoring the Trekkers - but that somehow made it more fun. She was all serious, and looked at times she was still in South America, fighting battles in the jungle.

"Stay sharp: lots of places to hide, lots of places for hostiles. Ambush; It can be quicker then you can imagine."

Yeah, somehow having a close friend not having fun was itself kind of fun. Sarah wasn't what one would call sadistic - but yeah, it was fun.

"I should have got some water in the car," said the guy in the poorer quality Star Trek uniform.

"Don't you mean your transporter beam?" asked Sarah.

"No, my car," said the guy. "And the fact that the city’s superhero is having this conversation with me is not improving my sense of reassurance in my civic government,"

"Got a point," said Knife Girl. "I once saw her throw a car over a building. I think there was a reason for it. Don't know..."

Okay, downside to having a group here. Sarah really wanted to say 'Said the professional actress', but no...she didn't.

Instead she turned and spoke. "Star Trek is fiction, but it’s the best kind, to show us a world where we can be, where our potentials are met, to explore the universe and learn from it."

"Yeah," said Thomas. "Like around here. See that rock pile? That’s where Kirk and Spock, along with Sarek...and a mental construct of George Washington...fought Kahless"

"It was an illusion of Kahless," said the Klingon man. "From your puny Earth perspective.”

Sarah paused. Huh?

"But you have a point about Star Trek. I mean you can see the freeway if you squint, but this really is the best of what we have," observed a Romulan.

"So what episode was that?" asked Sarah.

"Savage Curtain," Thomas answered.

"You do this kind of stuff a lot?" Sarah inquired. "Like, lead tours?"

"Occasionally. Vasquez Rocks is the big feature of Trek tourism.”

Sarah walked towards him. She put his hand on his shoulder.

"Very Clever."

"Yes" said lady Spock. "But you shouldn't have turned your head away from the main group.”

Sarah turned her head again.

All of the Star Trek personnel had drawn large Asian swords. Asian Spock had put her blade (and it was a girl) to knife girls throat.

She should have suspected. Star Trek cosplay ninjas.


It wasn't as if the Trekkers suddenly appeared in ninja outfits, but their expressions dramatically changed. They became hard – brutal; merciless. However, Sarah could see the fear which was her one ace she had left. Lavender was still wearing Spock ears as she put down her blade to walk towards her as two more ninjas replaced her on either side of her head. Knife Girl stood stock still, like a mannequin, afraid of movement.

"When facing an invulnerable foe, go for what’s vulnerable. Knife girl was wise to stay away from the group a bit, but she came in and...well. Her neck is vulnerable. And the art of infiltration is infiltration. Know your enemies weakness."

"She teaches a class at the YMCA on ninjitsu," said Tom. "It’s a lot of fun."

"I’m very active with the church," said Lavender. "And occasionally as a hero you need a small group who can pretend to be Trekies, if you ask them nicely."

"You did a good job. But it was Abraham Lincoln, not Washington who was the mental construct in Savage Curtain.

"Impressive," said the guy in the bad costume. "Yeah, I noticed that, and was worried that would give the game away."

"Well. I would give my men the simulated order to kill Knife Girl - that is unless you surrender and give victory to me. I forget how scoring works."

"I don't think we worked out scoring."

"Well, you know. Say ‘uncle’."

Sarah paused. She considered. She wondered for a second if those were real swords - if they were, then doing something stupid would be incredibly dangerous. But if they weren't... But then Sarah realized that she had to consider they were. If Knife Girl, or anyone else, was in this situation then giving up would be the sensible option. She couldn't endanger a life like this. She had lost. It was over. There was no more hope...

When a giant blast of cold flew over the rocks with a mighty "DRAW AGRO!!!!!!!"

The ninjas were startled by the blast and scattered - and Knife Girl took the opportunity to duck under the blade and swiftly kick the ninjas with swords down around her. Sarah, however, just turned and saw her savoir, her rescuer: Blizzard, standing in the sunlight with steam blowing from his wrist cannons. He was dressed as, and wearing a mask that made him look like, an orc from World of Warcraft (complete with horns), and a big damm hero.

"Lets DPS."

Okay, she swooned.

Sarah turned and punched a Trekie...or a thug...or a ninja. Well, she punched a Romulan and that was something ‘Mazing Girl hadn't done before. The ninjas were grouping up as Blizzard started to shoot the cold canisters out of his wrists guns, taking cover behind a rock as the ninjas pulled out their phasers - which she saw were clever containers for throwing stars. Knife Girl had found a rock for cover as well, and lavender was going after her - no doubt to engage in some epic martial arts fight. Which Sarah could watch, or she could be useful and deal with the ninja trekies. It was a shame when she had to miss the epic ninja battle, but well. two large very ferocious Klingons were coming at her with real batelah, God bless them, and she had to fight them Trekie style. In the middle of Vasquez rocks.

Okay, yeah: Sarah could have had a nerd-gasm

But Sarah turned to tom...he had a sword. He looked nervous though. Sarah usually didn't have compunctions about beating up thugs - but this was a training exercise and...

He slashed the sword across her shoulder.

It shattered.

It was weird with swords and her. Because of how her body was setup, cutting weapons were the least effect weapon imaginable against her. Ahh, well. Life.

Sarah picked up Tom and tossed him into the Klingon’s knees. They all fell over.

Blizzard, she abstractly knew, was an act. That underneath his weird lines was a fairly smart tactical mind. He did the weird-nerd-barbarian act to frighten people. In a serious world, the silly could be outright terrifying. Just ask the played by Cesar Romero. Humans are so bottled up, so tied in that we become frightened if someone unleashes the color underneath the grey world. However, Sarah felt very secure with herself right now - and wanted to let her inner-geek flag. "So does anyone have a primitive gun made of metal and gunpowder?"

There was silence as the ninjas sought cover from Blizzards continued assault.

"Oh no, there’s a forcefield preventing me from directly effecting you," said Sarah.

"Will you fucking stop with the Star Trek jokes?" demanded Knife Girl.

"Yeah," agreed Lavender.

"Keep em up!!" said blizzard "There like buffs to me."

A ninja star hit blizzard’s cannon exploded.

"He’s a bull in a fucking china shop," said Lavender, going back to do a sword versus two knife battle against Knife Girl. "I have to deal with him on a daily basis.”

Lavender smiled, after a second, at Blizzard though. "Ahh, you’re a great guy."

As a ninja army ran out of their canyon and moved to attack him.

The mighty orc roared, and pulled out a battleaxe.

Sarah smiled - but turned to watch Lavender knock Knife Girl off the rock pile.

Sarah ran at super speed and caught her. She caught her in mid air. However, as she did, knife Girl looked up at Sarah and smiled. And she looked back. And they both laughed. They both laughed loudly. Star trek ninjas...

Sarah felt close to someone, a connection to someone, and realized that leaning in to kiss her would be phenomenally bad idea. Just incredibly terrible - on a number of levels. Knife Girl was almost married. Both of them were straight. But the sense of sharing something with someone did fill her with the desire. Less for any sex but the idea of love. But she shook her head and kept it platonic.

Thank you heterosexuality.

Sarah then turned her head to see Lavender fly at her screaming with a ninja blade aimed towards the back of Knife Girl’s head.

Sarah turned, put Knife Girl, down and set up a might drop kick at Lavenders head.

And missed by a couple of inches.

However, Lavender landed on the ground and sold it anyway.

"Oh! You got me!" said Lavender. "You win"

"What the hell is going on here?" a voice demanded.

Everyone stoped what they were doing and looked up.

It was a park ranger.

"We were doing a training exercise," said Knife Girl.

"Were you shooting a...”

"An experimental liquid nitrogen gun," said Blizzard.

"This is a national historic monument!" declared the ranger. "Show some respect!!!”

"We’re sorry," apologies Knife Girl.

"Sorry isn't going to make things better.”

"Hey! Look behind you!" said Thomas, "It’s a gorn!"

"What?" the park ranger turned to see.

Sarah grabbed knife girl and jumped away. The ninjas all somehow vanished into the rocks.

The ranger turned back. "What?"

Blizzard stood silently.

"Um...I think I’m going to log off from this instance.

And started to run away fast. 

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Magruff the Crime Dog to the Rescue!!

Tales of an ‘Mazing Girl: Magruff the Crime Dog to the Rescue!!

"So...crime-awareness event," said Sarah.

"’Couple of hours, say a few words, go on local news. The Mayor’s there, lt. Governor, it’ll be good publicity. Plus, you

know, lots of kids and you can tell them about stuff," said the voice on the phone.

She was sitting by herself in an unused greenroom of the studio they were shooting in. The voice on the other end, belonged

to Gregory Larson, who was her attorney and spokesperson. She had saved him, very early on in her career, from a car fire,

since then he offered his services pro bono. He liaised with the Mayors office, and a little bit with the press. She called

him every couple of weeks.

He was a nice guy as most lawyers actually are, and he had her interests at heart - though he got good publicity out of this

as well. She needed someone like him, and he was smart, tough when had to be, and looked absolutely nothing like her at all.

She didn't want to hire Peter Parker to do this and get people confused.

"So...Saturday the 12th...10am...I guess I know the deal. Want me to make a big entrance?”

"You want to," said Larson.

Sarah nodded. She liked big entrances.

"Since this is how to spot crime, the office has a script they want you to follow. You know, ‘be cautious’, a 10 point plan

what to do if your in danger. This is aimed at the kiddies so they probably know what they’re doing. I'll email you what they

gave me, you can email me back any changes and I'll give it back. We can massage a speech."

Sarah didn't like giving prepared speeches. This was particularly true with politicians who liked to be seen next to her to

get their photo-ops. Politicians love photos. She had been in the Mayor’s office and there was a giant wall in his giant

office full of photos of him with presidents, senators...and yes...’Mazing Girl.

Well what can you do? She was in LA, endorsing a Democrat wasn't going to change anything anywhere, so why bother.

But you know it sounded like a good cause, and kids did look up to her.

"Ill do it," said Sarah.


"Don't hurt me," begged the thug in her hand, her right hand, suspended easily a foot above the ground

She was at the docks. It was one of those classic comicbook locations you don't really see much. Except it wasn't just any

dock. It was Marina Del Ray, one of the world’s largest small-berth marinas. Big boats shipped big things. Small boats, like

yachts and cruisers shipped small heroin. This place was less giant tramp steamers and more sailboats to drink

boat-drinks in.

And she wasn't actually sure he could be classified as a thug. He looked more like a college kid in over his head. But she

tended to classify most people she fought as thugs.

"Where do you plan to take this crap?" inquired a voice behind her. Nighthawk. His dead eye mask unleashed a fearsome visage.

Sarah shook her head. She was not, as a general principal, a person who followed a drug trail from source to the street.

Nighthawk was. Still, she didn't want to step in on his turf. She instead turned the thugs body towards him.

"Tell us. You know how strong she is, and I bet you want to keep your limbs."

Sarah sighed. She was also not a ‘threaten deadly violence’ type of hero. Nighthawk, as well she knew, wasn't a killer. But

he liked to give the impression that he was.

"No, no!" cried the ‘thug’.

"‘Mazing, can you put a little pressure on his right arm?"

Sarah grabbed it. She pulled lightly on it. She don't want to actually hurt him. She didn't want to...

"Let’s just take him into the police. They got a ton of evidence here...I mean this boat is full of drugs," Sarah suggested.

Nighthawk sighed. He broke character, just a tad, in exasperation.

"She’s a good person. Doesn't want to hurt a thug like you.” Nighthawk turned to Sarah. "Can you leave us, good mask, crazy


Sarah paused. No she didn't want to leave him.

"See you at the harbourmaster."

And then she jumped, still holding her quarry, into the sky.

The cops at the harbormaster station took him in, with only a few questions (she didn't know the exact slip he was hanging

about, but gave good directions, and pointed out the color).

She didn't go back as she expected Nighthawk to be there. But as she landed at a small park, she saw him. How he got there -

how he got anywhere -  she didn't know.

"What kind of shit was that?" he demanded.

"I'm here to help people, not beat-up college kids."

"You have such potential up there - but you can't see it down here. To fight fear you need to be fear," he scoured.

"To create hope you need to be hope."

That was one of her better lines. She added it to give in her speech. Then it clicked.

"I am giving a speech next week on crime-awareness in the city. Maybe you should give it. You know so, so much about crime

and all that."

Nighthawk scowled "I don't face the public. I would loose my menace."

"And your not a lot without menace," observed ‘Mazing. She was feeling pretty good about herself.

"You’re a mix of ego and failure," he shot back.  When ‘Mazing girl turned to retort he wasn't there.

Well, he got the last word in, not that bad.

Which is why ‘Mazing was glad she hadn't told him that the thug had in fact told her his buyer’s location in mid air.


"I like that line," said Janey "Yo create hope you need to be hope."

Sarah was at dinner with Janey - Knife Girl. They were at an olive garden after work (Janey had gotten an office job

recently, for between gigs).

She was good at agreeing to things. This often involved consuming liquor, but since both where driving they didn't today. She

was missing dinner with her fiancĂ©. Sarah and Janey’s fiancĂ©, for various reasons (mainly to keep her secret identity), had

never met, which was a shame.

Janey was pawing at a salad. The dinner of people with abs. Sarah was eating pasta. The dinner of people who didn't worry.

"I wish you could do it," said Sarah "You’re good at talking.”

"What? Teach them about knife safety," said Janey.

Actually she had done a PSA about knife safety just a year ago. Knife Girl did do a little bit of public stuff, but there was

a kind of implied contractbetween her and society. they feared Knife Girl, they accepted Janey, and they loved Sarah. It was

unfair, but what could you do.

"I wouldn't want to be the opening act anyway," said Janey.

Sarah felt guilty now. She often felt guilty. She had won the superpower lottery, and the public opinion lottery, yet she

didn't really appreciate it as much as she should.

But she knew Janey, who before becoming an actress had been a former mercenary. For someone who played a teenager on TV, she

had spent a lot of her actual youth doing things in South America that American teenagers could never handle. She knew that

Janey had, as was observed in a really corny line in the Avengers movie, a large amount of blood on her hands and was trying

to pay it off. Janey would never use lines like that but there you go. No sane human being would use a line like that. But

Janey was living a clean life in Cerritos, had a house and a guy she loved, and a job she liked...and a passion for fighting

crime. No, she was okay, and she accepted that.

Still, they occasionally did irresponsible things.

But tonight they just ate pasta. Sarah ate maybe two bowls.


Sarah stood on top of a small apartment building and looked over the location of the warehouse. Actually it was a suburban

garage in Palms. It looked most other suburban garages. That was the occasional problem with a lot of crime in

LA: it didn't look as you wanted it to.

She was trying to scout this one. She had thought about asking Knife Girl along to salt the wounds of the jerk Nighthawk, but

figured she should handle this her way. Do it ‘Mazing style, just to show them...after all, Knife Girl, despite their

friendship, did use the knives a lot.

What mazing style ment she was a little vauge on. But certainly less knives.

Sarah shook her head. She was above that. She would attack the operation in broad daylight and see what she could find.

Really, she should get a warrant. Yes actually, she would call Larson setup a sting and catch them in he act, the villains. 

That was the ‘Mazing thing to do. ‘Be hope’.

When she felt a presence on her shoulder.

"there isn't anything in there worth bothering about," said the voice.

She turned to see out of mist that came from nowhere walked the figure of The Flame. "i’ve checked this lead for the last five months. the cops have been here twice. whenever there’s a delivery he moves it within 20 minutes. worried about the cops, worried about his suppliers coming back, the man is clever i'll grant him."

Sarah sighed.

"it’s crime. it’s just catching him in the act. in all men’s souls there is a beast, a darkness. Most of the time they wear masks of virtue... but its just a mask. even the foulest creature can tip his hat to you in the street."

"Most people don't wear hats and don't tip them."

The flame shook her head. But maybe, just maybe, there was a laughing "the darkness. our failing is we can only really strike in the split second they let it out let out, their monster."

"By becoming one," said Sarah.

Flame put a hand on her shoulder. It wasn't cold. It was surprisingly warm. And surprisingly tender.

"we can't all be monsters. we need hope. I heard you where giving a speech on crime-awareness."

Sarah nodded.

"i’ll bet if you do a fine job, and make kids just a little bit more wary of strangers and candy and drugs, that will do more good then you or I will do a year. yes there is hope, and sometimes we need a person who is hope."

Flame talked to the police on occasion, the press even. But she would never....

"i would like to come to this speech. It’s on saturday in griffith park?"

"I am not sure they would..."

"just to hear it" said Flame, "to see the children happy, and glad to see their hero, giggling."

Sarah looked up at Flame and smiled. She had misjudged her. She put her hand on Flames, and squeezed gently.

"Then I am glad."

Flame let go and walked away.

"I suspect there’s a shipment on Sunday at 3:00. I can let you have the glory of bringing the gentleman in. As for myself...I care not."

Gee...she was nice today. And she didn't even have a heart.


Sarah gave the speech on Saturday. It was  tremendously patronizing and stupid. But she gave it with all her heart,

outlining 10 ways people could be more aware, even the youngest. She was glad to do, even glad to pose for pictures with

the Mayor who she privately thought was kind of a dick. Also hundreds of kids to.

She looked in the crowd but couldn't find Flame. But that was okay.

She tried to be hope, to make hope. That’s all she could do.

As did she realized each of them in their own way did the same. Her agent, the Mayor, the heroes, all of them.

Even though Nighthawk was a pretty big jerk.  .

Despite herself though, when she got home she looked up Batman/Superman slash fiction. It was strangely arousing.

The End...

Friday, August 23, 2013

Vs. Lex Luthor

"Seventh District" was filmed in a soundstage in Koreatown that was the mainly off street. You wouldn't notice it if you didn't know it was there. It didn't have any signs, no outward descript.  It was kind of like Shield headquarters in the old comics, if Shield headquarters was in a shifty neighborhood in an old building with lots of movie trucks parked in the back.

It was also, depending on the time of day she was to be on set, about an hour from her condo in El Segundo. But she liked living on the beach. Okay, her place was actually about a mile from the beach. And that mile had a large patch of land that was owned by an oil company. And El Segundo, because of oil interests, a bluff, and LAX, had a pretty shitty beach. But still: There was a principal somewhere.

It was a Friday morning, she found herself in traffic on the 405 - thankfully she had planned for it time wise. She was listening to a podcast in which a comedian interviewed another comedian. Normally she got into it, but it turned very quickly, as they often did, into a ‘who you met on the way up’, and exhaustive lists of comedy clubs. At first she thought it was kind of interesting listening to interviews with comedians that weren't just telling jokes. Then she realized that they still had to be entertaining about it. Comedy world: a little chummy.

Ahh, well...she turned to terrestrial radio. That could be fun and Yelly.

However, as she turned to a radio station that promised to give her the world in 22 minutes, and trafic and weather on the fives (where she learned the traffic continued on the 10 freeway).

She heard: "We are just getting word of a series of what appears to be co-ordinated robberies on banks and jewellery stores have just taken place at five locations in Downtown, West Hollywood, and Irvine, this morning. No injuries have been reported, but groups of suspects have managed to rob..."

Sarah paused. The thought came to her head. MAZING GIRL TO THE RESCUE!!!

However, she was stuck in traffic. She could get off the freeway, but that would take, like, 10 minutes in this traffic...just to do that. And the robberies were reported in the past tense. And no one was injured. She shrugged. Her gut told her that, yeah, this probably was a problem, and that things were about her, but well...only so much she could do this exact minute.

She adjusted her ipod and found a podcast all about home winemaking that sounded like fun.


She followed the story for the rest of the day as she could while working mainly on building a canister of used deodorant that was a plot point in next weeks show. You couldn't just go to the store, and the script was fairly specific about it. A lot of design went into it - or was blatantly stolen from an AXE brand deodorant can she got.

But the robberies where all coordinated to go off at the same time, using near identical MO’s, before the stores were open - and it looked like they had managed to claim about 300k in jewellery and cash. In one case the police had reached the scene, but they had escaped. All of the robbers had good equipment seemed highly trained.

Ehhh...these kind of places were insured to one inch of their lives, so it wasn't too big a loss, and no one was hurt so Sarah first impulse was to kind of shrug it off. Her powers gave her a vague sense of when people were in trouble, and it hadn't gone off. So, all was well...


That night - well actually, around sunset – ‘Mazing Girl jumped over to a rooftop and observed one of the banks. It was a semi detached two-story structure in West Hollywood with large glass looked a lot like a fucking bank. It even appeared to be open, as if nothing was going on which probably made sense. If you’re not going to get any interest at your bank these days, good opening hours are a courtesy.

She watched it for few moments lost in thought. She turned her head and saw someone standing next to her.

"These little chats we have," said Knighthawk, "are they getting tiresome for you as well?”

"Look, I can't be in six places at once."

"Were you at the store?" asked Knighthawk.

"In traffic."

"Oh great," Knighthawk remarked. "When you first appeared some people told me, you know, ‘Maybe you should move. San Francisco could use your services...someplace else’. LA was in such good hands."

‘Mazing Girl shook her head. "Look...can't we just team up here?  Pool our resources? Shit like that? Or are you just going to lecture me? You weren't there either."

Knighthawk sighed. "If I find something...I'll be in touch."

‘Mazing girl sighed. And she turned her head sideways. It looked like a glance away to see something on the street - but really it was to look away so he could disappear and the conversation would end. It was one of the good things about dealing with superheros. Goodbyes were crap sometimes in real life.

Sarah turned to go, walking across the rooftop...

And right into The flame.

"heard your conservation. don’t mean to pry."

Sarah looked down at the shorter heroine that continued to look like something Rob Zombie would put, for atmosphere, in one of his videos. An evil looking 12 year old that would burn your eyes out.

"Jesus," said Sarah.

"take this."

The little girl (or was she 30?) had something in her hand. It was strange because a second ago she swore she had nothing at all. Except, that is, except the night. But, yeah, that was being poetic. Flame wasn't holding anything earlier...

It was a grey manila folder. Sarah took it, and looked at it in the edge of darkness.

"Do you have like access to the FBI?" asked ‘Mazing Girl, "And the NSA?"

The Flame looked up and smiled. "Very little in this city happens that I do not know of, almost always before they do. But then they learn, and the slowly the limited small reptile minds they are."

Actually, “smiled” may have been the wrong word. It was accurate, but didn't convey the correct connotations. Sarah shook her head.

"in any case, the location and identity of the robbers is beyond obvious. and in a few days the authorities will figure out what they already know, poor devils, but they will know what they know...the robbers have infiltrated the fbi, which is also obvious...but probably not to the fbi. well, you can see the mess we’re in."

"No I can’t," said ‘Mazing. "I just glanced at a NSA letterhead."

And The Flame smiled.

"well, read the memo. this is the work of one man. a very dangerous man. don't know his real name. he’s rented an office downtown, under a corporation. he’s the key.”

"Do you want to team up and stop him?"

"he’s also rented a warehouse in southpark. like the robberies, you attack one; the other vanishes into the night. without it you couldn't convict him. without him it’s pointless."
Sarah nodded.

"you take him. several of his conversations suggest he’s obsessed with you, in some fashion. why not give him what he wants? and i am better, i suspect, with frightening large groups of men to doubt their sanity and their lives."

"You probably went to school for it," said ‘Mazing.

"i went to yale."

And Sarah laughed out loud.

"So where is this place?"

"again, in the memo. last page: conclusions."

"This must 50 pages long, he robbed the banks this morning, how quickly did you do this?"

The Flame turned and disappeared into the mist. "Let’s aim for 9:45? Don't enter the building before then."

Sarah smiled. Sometimes when she was with The Flame, she worried about her brain exploding. Sometimes she smiled. She turned and walked into Knighthawk.

"Um, I was going to tell you.”

Knighthawk laughed "I've been doing this for longer then you have, and will give you one piece of advice."

"Really. Just one?"

"She’s never quite on the level. There’s an angle you don't know about. She’s brilliant, but.... you do it. If what I heard was right, threes a crowd here. You do it."

"Your great for encouragement," said Sarah.

"I respect her. You..."

And Sarah turned her head again.


The office turned out to be in the old gas company building, a gorgeous building built into a fountain - literally built in as a modernist glass expanse. She had driven buy it dozens of times in LA, but never been inside. It was one of the good parts of being a superhero. The Bradbury Building, the Parker Center - she had the excuse to break into a lot of nice buildings.

However, she decided not to break in. She went to her car and pulled out a trench coat from the trunk - it was one of her utility items. Wearing it she looked like a woman walking into an office at 9:45 PM wearing a baggy trench coat. That wasn't the least suspicious... she walked in, past a guard who seemed oblivious, it seemed to have worked. She entered into an elevator going up to the 9th floor...and fixed her mask back in place. She left her jacket on her would look cool dropping it off as she walked out the elevator.

Not cool for anyone in particular, but cool.

And as the elevator dinged and she walked out, the trench coat hit the floor. Yeah....she did look cool.

You know what I’m talking about.

She walked calmly down a hallway in a non-descript office building - and kicked open a door.

Inside was an empty secretaries office - I mean, literally empty. There wasn't a lick of furniture in it. Beyond it, Sarah saw an empty doorway to a room with a large glass window overlooking the city. A large wooden desk of beautiful construction, a cold concrete floor, two chairs, and a man in a suit.

A very nice suit with a very bald head.

"Good evening," He said. "I've been waiting for you."

"Oh?" queried ‘Mazing Girl. She hated when people said that. Now, it could have been a lie, but it was disturbing thing to hear.

"My Lex Luthor"


Lex Luthor. He was one of those comicbook characters who you think appeared fully formed from the outset, but not really. He fought superman in, like, the late 40s: first as a generic hairy foreign spy, then as a mad scientist; then as kind of bald power-mad fiend with body armor; then as a corporate executive; then pretending to be his own son; then as president; then a power-mad fiend in body armour... She thought that there was even a spot where Luthor became messiah or something. All of this stuff, it should be noted, Sarah remembered in like 5 seconds. Great use of her brain.

"You’re not Lex Luthor, its a fictional character created by.....

"Oooh! I have the same name as a fictional villain. Well...I am the real one and oooooooooooooooh! Like I care about a cease and desist letter. Ooooh! Copyright infringment...oooooooooh!! Civil lawsuit. I just robbed half a million dollars and plan to rob the Federal Reserve next week.....oooooooooooooooh, this is such a big issue."

"Well, you don't have to be a dick about it,"  ‘Mazing Girl told him.

"Well, I do get to be a dick about it, I am Lex fucking Luthor, I can do what the fuck I want."  

‘Mazing Girl shrugged and covered her eyes. Other shoe...other shoe...

"Jigs up, can we make this simple? No? You’ve got a master plan. You got something really evil thing do," said ‘Mazing Girl. "And please note I don't normally describe people as evil, as that is rhetorically lazy, but the entire setup here, yahadaha yadahah."

"You talk a big game. But you know by now I am a genius. Every step was to bring you here. Right here. And once you’re gone I will loot Los Angeles clean and destroy your precious city...for money: yes. But mainly because you care about it."

"And? Next we have..?"

"Mazing girl...I have something very special for you. Something very special indeed."

He went into the desk with slow movements - as if he was daring her to stop him. But she stood still. He found a small container about the size of a snuffbox clearly made of metal and...

He opened it. Inside was a small shiny green rock in a bed of velvet.

"Kryptonite, my dear ‘Mazing Girl. Kryptonite!"

‘Mazing Girl paused. She looked at the stone.

Then stoped, and looked at it some more. Really? There had to be a trick here.


"It took some doing," gloated Luthor. “But...."

"Kryptonite doesn't exist. It was created for the radio show because the actor who played superman wanted to take a vacation."

Wow...she knew a lot.

"It’s radioactive krypton."

"1. Krypton is a noble gas...which means it’s a gas at room temperature. 2. As a noble gas its variance shield is complete and by definition it can't be radioactive, as its particle mass is always neutral."   

(Note: This wasn't actually true, but much of Sarah’s high school chemistry was obviously replaced with comic book trivia)

Sarah looked at the stone again. She tried to place it. Some type of jade - it was clearly a real rock but...

"Maybe this takes longer than in the comics," mused Luthor.

"All day I thought: ‘Ooh god!” I was scared of the criminal mastermind - but God! Kryptonite? Are you fucking serious? My weakness is not kryptonite. That’s just stupid...and made up. Yes, I kind of have the powers of superman, but not the silly shit."

Lex Luthor looked at his stone, and then at her.

"Maybe your just pretending.”

‘Mazing Girl picked up the stone. For a second, she thought about eating it. But thought that might have been a bad idea. Kryptonite poisoning would be a bad idea. Instead she crumbled it. It would have been nice to say into dust, but really it was just turned into very fine pebbles.

Lex paused. "So...."
"Do you want to be taken to jail out of the window, or through the door?" asked ‘Mazing Girl. “I'll leave it to you."

Mazing Girl grabbed him, lifting him up by the scruff of his suit in one hand. She didn't do this for very long, as it tended to rip things, but it was a cool visual.

"What is your weakness, by the way?” Lex asked.

"I can't stand pure salt water," offered Sarah "It’s like acid to me."

Lex paused...and was quiet the rest of the trip to the police station. He had the kind of pause that suggested his pop culture frame of reference wasn't good enough to be a real supervillain.


As it was, The Flame managed to capture 3 men and retrieve large quantities of jewelles, and money - as well as a bunch of bank robbing equipment. The rest of the robbers and money were in the mist - probably a good deal of them permanently.

Still, not a bad night. “Luthor” was in jail on 20 million dollars bond - still no real name, or was the poor bastard really a poor bastard?  It gave her a moments pity for him. had been a successful evening.

So, to celebrate the next day she went to the beach.

It was a good chance to wear that blue bathing suit she had bought about, oh...a year ago. It did, for whatever reason, make her arms look cool.

But the water was kind of cold. Sitting outdoors it the kind of weather where it didn't quite sunburn, but kind of did; and she didn't have a good book; and the meal made her loggy. And she was by herself so she couldn't throw Frisbees to anyone.

And worse yet was the thought in the back of her mind – there’s always an angle with The Flame...always a second layer. What was the purpose of what she did? Was something going to happen with her, something that rocked her to her very core?

Damm that Knighthawk.

Ahh... She went home after about an hour. 


Deca sat in his... lair, that was the right word...and watched the video from inside Luthor’s office for the dozenth time.  He had needed an emergency cash injection and the entire episode had pizzazz. He laughed.


he paused.


And he laughed some more. Laughing was free. The next part would cost a lot of money. 

He especially guffawed when he saw the 25 bodies of the robbers he killed after today’s heist on the floor.

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Demi Cups of Justice

‘Mazing girl was the most powerful superhero in the city of Los Angeles.

Also certainly the state of California and the western United States.

One would start to have to argue about the country as a whole but these things were true.

And tonight she was going on a date, courtesy of

It was the kind of logical leap that one would make in life that would make her - Sarah Jennings, not particularly mild-mannered Prop Master for the stars (or cable television) think about if she gave a flying fuck about the concept "That ‘Mazing Girl shouldn't do that".

But, well...from a logical standpoint it had some merit. She was single. She worked long, if not always hard, hours on set. When she wasn't, she spent a lot of time patrolling the city for crime, evil, etcetera. When she wasn't doing that, going to bars, talking to friends of friends, etc, wasn't how she wanted to spend her time. It was fun about once a month.

So one Wednesday, after flirting with Jimmi Simpson on set (he was an actor who you would recognize if you saw him) she went home, put on some fairly nice makeup and a fairly short dress, and smiled.

Sarah was pretty. But she wasn't necessarily California pretty. She would have hot and cold running guys if she lived in Chicago, and do pretty well in New York. Out here the fact that she wasn't a size 0 hurt her. This was despite the fact that while she didn't do it everyday she could wear an E size cup.  She looked pretty good. She slapped her butt and did a little dance, shaking her booty.

"I like big butts and I cannot lie, you others brothers can't deny, when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waste and an ass that’s in your face your face you get..."

She giggled a lot.

Guys liked that.

And one of the beauties of online dating, is that pretty much every woman got like, a dozen hits a day. So she had the ego boost of that.

She drove to a small restaurant in west Hollywood, that she had never actually been in, called Jar. Its one of those fancy restaurants where one of the chefs had been on a cooking show before. She was looking forward to it. Her date had agreed to pay.

She waited out front for a few minutes. This wasn't like a fairytale. She had seen pictures of Paul before. Paul was a patent attorney. His picture was of a fairly nice looking guy in his early 30s - muscular but not necessarily super-thin, but with a pleasant moustache. She liked moustaches.

About five minutes after arriving and told that, yes, they had their reservation, he showed up. In his little picture he was handsome. In the restaurant he was...okay...not bad. He had the look of a man who was impressed to see her. Sarah’s interactions with Paul online suggested that he was trying to please her, which she liked in guys. There was an old sawhorse that the essence of cool was not caring. She, on the other hand, admired it.

He pulled back her chair. She could toss tanks around, but she admired that. It was classy.

However...then she got to talking. Paul wasn't bad. He was obviously smart, but he had a problem shared by a lot of lawyers, of not being the best talker when he wasn't in court. They had a kind of lonely disconnect in unstructured conversations. They talked about what he did - he worked a lot with a couple of companies for online and tech patients, rarely did they go to court but often threatened to go to that level.

She talked a lot about prop design and working in art for TV. She mentioned Jimmi Simpson, and he did recognize the name.

"Wasn't he in the movie Abraham Lincoln: Vampire hunter?"

She couldn't vouch for it, but yeah...that did sound like something Jimmi would do.

However, it was kind of a little...well, not bad...but not great. The food when it came was. A good well-done pasta with something that wasn't Italian on top. He had a very nice brisket, which she tried. He was friendly, that was true, but her mind wandered.

Yeah, she was ‘Mazing Girl and she was on a date with the guy. She knew that she had an official fan website, her agent kept saying that everyday she got like a dozen marriage proposals. Okay, when she first put up the site it had gotten dozens, now it was a low trickle, but the point stood. She looked at her fan stuff on occasion, and occasionally answered it.

Yeah, the stuff from the guys about wanting to have sex, or get her panties, was creepy - but yeah, she was getting it.  She was ‘Mazing Girl.

Then her mind went back and realized what she knew. He was a nice guy. A very nice guy, and certainly the people who wanted her for ‘Mazing Girl wouldn't be any nicer. Maybe handsomer, but not nicer...or better. He was trying, trying very hard, to woo Sarah - and that kind of gave her a trick.

When she felt something on the back of her neck.

Not now.

She ignored it for about 10 seconds, and sighed. She was getting better at telling more information and this wasn't the ‘city in danger’ pain, but...

"Can I go to the ladies room for a second?" she asked.

"You’re asking me?" Paul said.

"Well..." she stood up and giggled.

Sarah grabbed her extra large ‘I can put my costume in’ purse, and walked towards the ladies room.

She checked her phone. She had an app that told her when there was trouble. It wasn't really an app, just an RSS feed. Nothing big on the radar.

She went to the bathroom. It was small for a fancy restaurant, with a door that went out the back. That was a good thing about a fancy restaurant. A cheaper place wouldn't have done that.

She rapidly pulled off her dress, revealing her silky thong panties over her lucious red (just in case and her...

Strapless demi cup bra.

It was red and silky - and a tad small. In other words, not something you wanted if you had to run and jump over the city. Her boobs would fly out of it, and despite being for all practical purposes invulnerable, that was not a good thing.

The curse of being big boobed - yes gravity did effect her and yes support was a good thing.

Well, not that much could be done about that now.

She put her costume on in a flash and realized she was wearing more makeup then she normally did as ‘Mazing Girl. She looked like she was on a date.  Superheroines and makeup is not something you often think about. Well, not much to do. And she was ‘Mazing Girl. Not that ‘Mazing Girl and Sarah where different people – but, well...

She opened the door and ran to the back door in a flash.

When she was in the wide open driveway she was glad - because she wouldn't have to jump around the city. Well...abstractly glad.

Five guys were beating another guy up. Why? She couldn't tell. This didn't look like a murder attempt or a robbery - but it was a beating. You saw this around more then you might think.

All five of them of them - all six counting the guy on the ground, were Latinos, looked to be in their early 20s...maybe gang members? She wasn't sure. She didn't want to judge. That guy was a person, even though she knew that at some time this had been voluntary. Gang life not her thing, though she probably should make it her thing.

But she had surprise on her side, and the advantage of running at super fast speed (and not pulling out of her bra). She grabbed one of the guys on top of victim and threw him off.

The other four turned.

Two of them instantly ran away. The other looked like he was hesitating. She kicked him off and, fairly lightly, down to the ground. A third wanted to be a hero - or a villain - and stood up.

"Come at me, Bitch..." He gestured at her.

She stood up looked at him. And then, faster then his eye could see, clocked him in the jaw putting him down.

He went down like a lightweight.

She sighed, and turned. She saw that the guy she had dropped to the ground had grabbed a gun. He was now pointing it at her.

"I’ll, I’ll," he looked at her.

"Put it down, please," she asked, "You shoot me: that’s attempted murder. And we both know it ain't going to do shit."

He put it down.

Internally, ‘Mazing Girl sighed. It had been a bluff - if had hit her bra, that would have been problematic.

She sighed again.

Three of the crooks were on the ground. She grabbed the gunman up and he didn't fight her. She saw some chain on the ground and made improvised handcuffs, for him and the others, pretty easily.

“Do you have a cellphone?" she asked of the guy on the ground, the one they’d been beating up.

She looked at him. He was Latino. But also nobviously gay. Wow, she was in west LA - gay capitol of the world. Wow she was glad she answer that. This may or may not be a hate crime. She would let the courts decide that.

the victim however didn't talk, didn't say anything to her. But he smiled at her nonetheless. She hated the fact that all he would be to her and she to him would be a victim. It was a shame. Obviously they wouldn't date, but well theres more to life then that..

While she was putting on the handcuffs she made a quick call to the police.  As she waited she talked to the conscious guy.

"So what was the game?"

"Right to remain silent," he said

"That’s to the cops, and I am know what? No, I don't really care that much to be threatening right now."

The cops did come asked her a few questions, and took about five minutes of her time, though she told them she had to go. Which she did.

However, she realized the entrance to the restaurant was visible. Huh. Damm.

She jumped up on top of a roof (her bra managed to stay in place) and waited until they all seem occupied before she ducked back into the restaurant and changed into her normal clothes.

And then peed, because yeah, she kind of had to.

Altogether it had been about 25 minutes in the bathroom as she walked back to Paul and...

And an empty table.

She saw a waiter. "Oh, I am sorry. The guy you were with finished his meal and paid. He left about five minutes ago."


No restaurant desert.

No guy.

Well, she had left at the end of dinner and gone to the bathroom for a long time, but...

He left her.

That hurt a little bit.

She hadn’t planned on going to sleep with him, she was 50/50 on whether she was going to go out with him again, but...

She wasn't a superhero who rested in the angst of her life. Of the impossibility of living a normal life doing what she did, but it was moments like this that such thoughts entered her mind. She had a lot of time to be Sarah, and just be a normal girl. But it wasn't...

She walked out into the night.

And yeah, she stopped for ice-cream on the way home. That cheered her up.

She decided to offer to be Facebook friends with the guy, as a way of making it up to him. There he could see pictures of her boobs. And they were spectacular.

Friday, August 16, 2013

Hi Ho Silver Away!


"Go to Las Vegas for the day, have some drinks they say, Do a little gambling" said ‘Mazing Girl, "It will be fun."

She should have said that as she hid behind a pillar, as a heavily armored man heard her and shot at her with a huge machine gun..

But well she had a weakness for classic banter

"Yippie kay yay motherfucker," she said...but the machine gun fire drowned it out. They where really loud.

She said something else but, yeah, gunfire. You couldn’t t hear anything. You don't think it, but yeah.


"WOHOOHOHOHOO000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000" shouted Janice outside the car window.

"Quiet," said Wendy from the backseat. "I've still got a headache."

Sarah smiled. She, Janice and Wendy were driving to Vegas for the weekend. Well, she was driving, as she was the responsible one.

Going to Vegas for the weekend was something people did in LA - but she had never really done. She had been to Vegas on spring break in college – but, well, girlfriends got together in LA and went to Vegas. That’s the way it was. That’s what people did. And she was a person who lived in LA. This was despite the fact that when she went she remembered not liking it all that much.

She had Monday off with a Memorial Day holiday. She was coming home on Sunday - but Wendy suggested it was good to recover. Wise advice, as Wendy who had looked as if she was already recovering from one of her drank-induced hangovers before she even got there. Still, knowing Wendy, in five hours she would be fine.

It would take that at least. They where still in the middle of the desert. Sarah realized that there was still a long way to get to Vegas. But, well she had friends, tunes, and a diet-soda. What more could you ask from the open road?

15 hours latter...

The gun shot, his really heavy machine gun, right at the support column in the New York, New York parking structure, pelting it with dozens, then hundreds, then so many more bullets.

God, ‘Mazing Girl did not like bullets. This would hurt a lot, and really damage her costume, and she only had the one with her. And really hurt. So many bullets rang past her...

For about 5 seconds.

Then she heard the click of an empty chamber.


‘Mazing Girl ran out from behind the column.

He pulled out his pistol - he shot  at her, aiming for he...however, as the bullet floated through the air she just dodged it. Yeah, she should probably have taken it in the face and been cool about it - but yeah, it would hurt.

She turned her head and watched it fly past almost as if time stood still.

Then she turned again, and took the guy down.

"Okay Bub, what’s the plan?"

"Amazing girl."

"The A is silent."

"No, that would imply," said the thug, "That you spell it with an A but don't pronounce it. You..."

She punched the guy in the head.

He went unconscious.

"Okay. I'll just find out from someone else."



"Will you please, please, be quiet," said Wendy.

Sarah smiled. They where driving down the strip. It was 10pm, and the lights were full effect. Sarah hadn't been here for years and she had forgotten how beautiful the strip was at night - so many lights. So, so many lights. They passed Ballies and Paris, fake Venetian canals and Caesar’s Palace (which didn't look too impressive), the Billagio with a huge fountain, and the Mirage with a volcano. It was magical. As someone who loved movies, and the craft of making them, it was like driving down a movie street, the speed of her car equalling the speed of the print through the projector. It was one of the most beautiful things she had seen in a long time.

"Wohoho" said Janice.

Pity she wasn't sharing it with people who could more appreciate it.

It was snobby, but she was getting a little tired of Janice’s dumb enthusiasm, and Wendy’s hung-over grouchiness. They were both nice enough, but Janice seemed to be sewing her oats from her long term boyfriend and Wendy was just in a snit. She knew them she liked them - but well this hadn't been the funnest trip ever. Still...

They drove in front of New York, across the street from a fantasy castle, and a giant statue of a lion, Kitty Corner from a large tower-that was suposed to be tropical or something(poor theming that). The hotel was comprised of a number of buildings from old New York and a giant statue of liberty in front - with a roller coaster. It was as magical as any.

"Let’s get in, check in, and ROCK THE HOUSE!!!" said Wendy, instantly recovered from her hangover.


Yeah, great company.


From outside, the lobby was full of machine gun welding lunatics. And what looked to be several hostages. Not a good scene.

What was a better scene? Well, Las Vegas didn't have any superheros nearly as powerful as she was - they she knew they had 1 or 2 but she couldn't remember their names right now. She remembered reading an article about one of them a year ago revealing that she was really a Mormon in her private life, but the actual name escaped her.

Lots of people in Vegas who worked at these huge dens of sin were really Mormon. Made it more interesting.

But anyway, no one in Las Vegas was as powerful as ‘Mazing Girl. The police didn't seem to be responding for some reason. And the guy didn’t know she was here. This meant she had the element of surprise - if she could stop with the one-liners from die hard - which was pretty tricky, but she could contain herself.

Sarah leaned in and jumped to the top of the Empire State Building.

Which would have been impressive if it wasn't, like, 1/3 as tall.

She landed on the top like a much smaller version of King Kong. She couldn't help beating her chest a little, but got down to business - there wasn't any super visible access, she looked through the windows trying to spot one she could jump through to take out a terrorist.

However, no gunmen where visible at all. Nothing on the top floor.

It was disappointing.

The top floor itself looked to be lot of expensive suites - however they were empty. She was hoping to jump in, suprise some newlyweds, and go ‘action’.

But nope.

Ah, well...

Sarah found a window in the Chrysler Building across the way, aimed like a lightening bolt across New York harbour, Grand Central Station, and a roller coaster, into the tower...landing with a roll.

"Hey! What are you doing?"

It was a guy watching porn on his TV. It was very dark, and she hadn't spotted him.

Well, God bless him.

"Got a hotel to save, Sir," She informed him, and ran out the front door.


"Let’s get this party started," declared Janice.

"YEAH GIRL," said Wendy.

Sarah sighed. They had just checked into a very large hotel room. There were only two beds - but come on, this was Vegas.

Which Sarah had only been in about an hour and a half, and was already getting a little tired of.

Check in, for 10 o’clock at night, had been kind of exhaustingly long even if the lobby was beautiful to look at - something out of the 40s.  She had gone to work at 4:00 AM for an early morning shoot before the long weekend, and after 8 hours on location in Venice Beach had driven 7 hours. (Okay, Janice had driven 3 of them in the middle)

But she was tired. She wanted to get some sleep after a very long day.

"Let’s hit the slots!”

And Janice pulled off her shirt, revealing her push-up bra.

"I thought you wanted to go downstairs," said Sarah.

"I am not wearing this. I got my Vegas dress," said Janice, pulling out of her clothing.

She was wearing spanks.

Sarah turned her head. She turned to Wendy.

"Hurry up, girl. We got guys to flirt with, and whiskeys to drink."


‘Mazing Girl was at the top of the Chrysler Building, looking around. No-one looked suspicious - most of the actual hotel guests, based on the guy in the suit, were oblivious. This was quiet and simple, and well planed. What were these guys after?

She called the elevator to get down.

When it came, inside was a woman with a submachine gun.

"Why do they come at me with such noisy sticks?" Sarah had read that in a Batman comic once. It sounded cool.

She grabbed the woman’s gun, and with a single flick of the wrist threw it away. It didn't go off or anything. Then Sarah grabbed her.

‘Mazing pressed for the fifth floor. Then pressed every button between.  Give her and her new friend chatting times.

"We’re going to have a conversation," said Sarah. "You’re going to tell me a story."

"Okay, I am going to tell you everything,” said the woman, "’Names Indigo, by the way."


"When your parents name you something like that, you’ll be a hippy or a criminal. I made my choice. You don't have to beat me up or anything. I'm folding."


"I work for a man named Mr. Anon. I am reasonably certain his parents aren't hippies, so that’s probably an alias. He’s trying to raid the casino’s vaults - they have something like 40 million dollars in there. He put together an army - 80 men and women - to do it like a commando raid, paid-off the police...what have you.  Screw Oceans 11. The only way to really do it is a lot of big ass guns. Except they didn't expect you - they had expected the Vegas Gorilla and Ace of Diamonds."

Oh that’s what her name was. 

"Well, you just got ‘Mazing."

"Is that a thing?" asked Indigo.

"Well, I have been trying out catchphrases."

"Work some more on it," suggested Indigo. "Anyway Anon’s probably in the central vault. It’s...yeah, under the main casino floor."

‘Mazing Girl grabbed a metal hand rail on the edge of the elevator, ripping it off with one hand. She proceeded to wrap the long steel bar around indigos hands.

"Thanks for your help. For the record: I probably wouldn't have beaten you up - I am not that kind of heroine."

"Well, I have a weakness for women’s prisons anyway."

"With a name like Indigo, that makes sense."


Sarah was surrounded by music. Dancing, throbbing music, and thousands and thousands of blinking lights. A lot of handsome guys and beautiful girls were there for her to oogle (she sometimes did both) and she had a drink that had originally been on fire in front of her.

She was kind of bored.

Wendy was off talking to a guy. Janice, who was hooked up back home, was abstaining, but making lots of hooting noises.

Sarah wanted to go to bed.

The alcohol hadn't really taken effect yet. Well, it was just making her a sourpuss.

She had spent the last 4 hours drinking, watching a dance review, a little dancing, and a little time behind the slots.

Sarah hadn't really had a lot of fun with any of it.

She was thinking a lot of the movie Ghostbusters. That had a lot of great special effects in it. And a surprisingly cogent occult plotline if you followed it, with the weird building that was a dimensional gate to the otherworld...and Slimer. And it was all physical. It had a reality in the etherealness that CGI didn't really produce. Sure, Slimer was a puppet – but...

In high school and college she used to watch a lot of sci-fi movies. And talk about them. In college too, though they occasionally went to Jan Shivmakers weirder European stuff.  She had a lot of friends she could do stuff like that with. She sometimes talked to them - often on Facebook - and had made some others about comicbooks and stuff. But really, she had a lot of long discussions about the new 52 online these days. It wasn't quite the same.

She missed them. She was with her other friends, but she missed just being a geek - as opposed to a woman on a Vegas trip.


Yeah, this wasn't as fun.

She liked alcohol. She liked drunken debauchery. But this...well...

It didn't seem her night.


"This isn’t your night son," said a robber, a tall faced goon with an awesome beard, to what looked to be a hotel security guard. He had him a gun point.

He walked to his compatriot with a not-as-good beard. "I found this guy playing John McLain in the sports book."

He gestured with his gun away from the man.

which gave ‘Mazing Girl a chance to come from the shadows, grab his gun and him with it, then use the same gun motion to hit his companion.

"Hey," said ‘Mazing Girl to the security guard.

"What the...?"

“Don't worry," assured ‘Mazing Girl. "It’s under control. I need to get to the main casino cash-vault...well you know what I’am talking about.”

"Central Money," said the guard. "Third basement, under the lobby. It’s high security. They’re probably robbing it right now. You have to use a key-card to get there, like this one. The main elevator is off the casino floor on the east side of the building. That’s probably where the leadership of this crap is."

"Thanks," said ‘Mazing Girl.

"I am not giving it to you," said the guard. "Names Thomas, by the way. It’s hotel procedure. You might be one of them trying to bluff.”

"Fair point. Then we go together. However I’m bulletproof. Are you?"


"Just checking," said ‘Mazing Girl. "How would you get there? Keep in mind that the main floor has about 1000 hostages, 100 of these guys, and a really annoying Euro dance-mix club."

"They brought most of the hostages to, I think, the east side of the casino. It’s kind of easy to defend. On the main floor, probably not to many. A dozen maybe as floaters. How fast can you run?”

"Fast," said Sarah.

"Can you give me a lift?"


"I think I want to go to bed," said Sarah.

"Come on," said Janice. "They have this great breakfast buffet in two hours - don't you want to say you spent the night up all night?"

Sarah gave her a weak smile. A very weak smile.

"I think I am going to go maybe play some table games. That will keep me awake."

"You need to party," said Janice.

Sarah wandered into the casino. At 4:00 AM it was - crowded was the wrong word, but it had a lot of people. She had some chips and was ready to, party.

She found a blackjack table. She knew there was a strategy to it. That was good. Despite being someone who, at a time in her life, had travelled 2000 miles to play dungeons and dragons and roll dice, she couldn't fathom craps.

Jack and seven.

"Hit me," said Sarah.

"You shouldn't do that," said the guy next to her.


"The dealer has a six showing. Odds suggest your going to win. 1/3 chance she’s going to have a face card and have to stand, most of the rest won't help her. and the deck is at plus 1, so she’s not going to have it."

"Huh?” said Sarah.

"Just saying." The guy was a handsome looking Asian man with glasses, maybe about 25. He looked very pleasant, and pretty, if a nerd.

"Do you want to hit?" asked the dealer.


And the game continued. The dealer turned over 8.

"14, dealer hits. 10, dealer busts. All players win.”

"Yeah!!!!" said Sarah.

She got a 10 dollar chip in front of her.

"Don't get cocky," the helpful guy warned. "Though since the count is high, it’s a good time to bet."

"Isn't that counting cards - should you be saying this?"

"It’s a 5 dollar table at 4am, nobody cares much."

"He’s right," said the dealer. "We make a show about it, but really the best card counter can turn a game with 47 percent of wining to 51, and that’s not worth getting security over."

Sarah smiled. She looked at the guy

"Sarah Jennings," she said. "Hey, this may be a little forward, but when we’re done here...would you like to go up to my room, and watch Iron Man on pay per view?"  

"Daniel Hung, and I’m married."



‘Mazing Girl and Thomas were standing at a side entrance to the main casino floor. Sarah grabbed Thomas in her arms. Thomas had one of the guard’s guns.

"They almost certainly have guards across the way at the elevator down. It’s going to take me 10 seconds to get the door open."

Sarah leaned down and grabbed him, lifting him up easily to her back.

"You’re strong."


Sarah began to sprint. She didn't want to go too fast with a guy on her back, so she settled to an easy 80 miles an hour, running through the empty casino floor.

As Thomas had said there were a couple of guards, but not that many. Some of them looked to be dressed like the ones in the casino. One of them wore a tuxedo. It was fun to see them. There was a certain joy in things like that - however they had the kind of scared, don't-fuck-with-me faces that suggested trigger happiness. Sarah contemplated for a second. She knew that actual mob ties were probably nowhere in the casino. (She vaguely recalled that the New York themed casino was owned by a southern company) But there still existed a kind of unspoken thought: You do not fuck with casinos if you want to walk straight. Or walk at all. Or be able to play horseshoes.

However despite her slight fears, it went smoothly. The casino floor was as most were, quite huge - bigger then several football fields. It was kind of interesting to watch it blur - but to business. In less then 20 seconds she crossed it to see a closed doorway.

"In," said Sarah, putting her back into it, cradling Thomas as she did. The metal door bust open, not crashed...the hinges gave first, the door sprawling into the room

As it did, she heard it hit a guard.

She stood for a second, dropping Thomas to the ground, gunfire hit her back (the first time all night that she had been actually hit). Her cape was made of Kevlar - not so much for personal protection, but just to protect her costume. However, it did help a little bit with protection but it still hurt. But she needed to buy time for Thomas to get into cover.

Thomas stood there.

"Hide!" Sarah told him.


‘Mazing Girl grunted as he got out of the doorway, then turned...spinning fast.

Her cape went up and around as she saw the small elevator lobby in which stood three guards with machine guns...which she just spun around. Her cape hit 2 of their heads, blinding them temporarily and knocking their guns away.

She then used the distraction to hit them. The third gunman, to his credit, stoped shooting not wanting to hit his companions. She then grabbed one and tossed his head into a wall, Then grabbed the second and knocked him down. She then turned to the third.

He kneeled down before her, dropping his gun and raising his hands.

Sarah sighed. He was giving up, and she made it a rule not to hurt people who willingly gave up. She was okay with knocking people unconscious, but concussion was not a good thing in the long run.

She grabbed his M16 machine gun, took his hands and wrapped his weapon around them, taking several seconds to do so. The metal whined and partially melted in her hands as she did, helplessly bending.

"Stay quiet," she commanded.

Thomas was behind her fiddling with the knobs.

"The elevator should come in 12 seconds.”

"They probably know," said Sarah.


"So you have been working in casino long?" inquired Sarah.

"First year here," Thomas replied. "I worked a couple at the Venetian. Started out as a dealer, but pure security pays more."

Sarah nodded "True you guys don't care very much about card counters?"

The sound of people running towards them in the crowded space and a lot of yelling filled the air.

"Depends on the casino."

"A blackjack dealer told me that earlier tonight."

"That’s pretty brazen," observed Thomas.

The door to the elevator opened. They walked in just as the crowd got there.

There was a ding. And they went down.

There was no musak.


Sarah had found Wendy and Janice. The breakfast thing was starting in 20 minutes. she had made it through the night, but she was beat. She technically didn't have to sleep all that much, but, well...

However, she would show partying as much as they did.

Janice looked a bit as if she was feeling a little tired too. But Wendy...well, she was looking fresh as a fucking daisy.

"WOHOHOHOHOHO!" whooped Wendy, screaming: "Let’s keep the party going!!"

Sarah had drunk maybe five drinks all night, and was feeling it. She was feeling a lot of things. Like she never wanted to see either of these people again.

Then she put her head against the table for a second...she felt it.

At first she thought it was the start of a hangover - but then she realized it was the sense...the feeling, the horrible feeling of a horrible feeling at the worst possible time. It entered her soul, her psyche, telling her...warning her.

"I think I’m going up to the room to change up for breakfast," said Sarah.

"You look fine girl," said Janice.

"Yeah, well I am going to," said Sarah.

Sarah got up before Janice could talk her out of it...and walked out of the bar they were sitting in, and into the casino. Her costume was in the back of her car.

As she hit the lobby she saw about 40 people walk in from a bus with a lot of heavy luggage. They looked hard , determined, and a little frightened.

And Sarah realized that an already long night was going to get longer.


The room was empty when they got there; no one was there. “Mazing Girl and Thomas were standing in front of a bunch of empty tables and a large vault in the back.

"Huh,” said ‘Mazing Girl.

"Help!" begged a voice. "Help me!!"

'Mazing Girl saw a closet and opened it. "What’s going on?"

Inside was a small woman, maybe 100 pounds with cute brown eyes. That was the first thing 'mazing noticed. It had been a very long night.

Thomas walked over and steadied the woman.

"When the robbers came they emptied the room and permanently locked the vault. They sent all the money counted to a separate safe room - but I was outside in the  little girls place"

"Yes," said Thomas, he took his machine gun and put it to the girls head.

"Ohhhhhhh," said ‘Mazing Girl.

"We learned fairly early that you were in the building. When Indigo didn't report, we figured you were in the east side of the hotel. It was fairly simple to be captured. We spent half an hour trying to get into it - but as she said it can only be opened now by three keys that aren't on the property. You of course...are, well, super strong. You could get into the vault in like 5 minutes.”

"Three" said ‘Mazing Girl. "Just grab the steel, melt it down with my bare hands, and be in. But no. Are you Mr. Anon?"

"You’re invulnerable," observed the guard formerly known as Thomas. "She is not. And yes.Pleasure to be introduced "

‘Mazing Girl turned for a second to look at the vault door.

"Be quick - or are you really faster then a speeding bullet? At point blank range? And did you ever actually watch Die Hard?"

"Sure,” said ‘Mazing Girl. "That’s why I took the bullets out of the gun."

"What?" demanded Anon.

‘Mazing Girl walked over. "Competent thieves wouldn't have let her stay in the  closet for 30 minutes. I’m 99 percent sure she’s a plant...but that doesn't matter. I took them out. I don't shoot people anyway, and I didn't want you to do it.”

Anon trembled for a second, and started to talk in a thick European accent.

"You Americans...always cowboys."

He spoke into a walkie talkie she didn't notice before. "Activate plan 3x"

"whats that"

The most defenseless tenderness and the bloodiest of powers have a similar need of confession. Western man has become a confessing animal-Micheal Focult" said thomas "Benefits of a modern Clasical education"

sarah shook her head they where really doing this "What’s  is that?"

"The remaining guards are to hide a bomb in the property and flee. What do you have to say to that, cowgirl?"

"Hi-ho, Silver...away!!"

She punched anon in the face he fell down in an instant.

Sarah turned to the girl. She was panicking and screaming.

"Thank you."

"99 percent you’re bluffing. I am sure he is. Either way you’re not going to get out of here without talking to the cops."

The woman paused. "We have a helicopter to pick us up outside. 3x is the call for it to come early."

‘Mazing Girl nodded. Of course, there was still the other problem.


Sarah opened the car, her shit and pants already off, not noticing that people may be around in the deserted garage. She was used to it. She saw her bag with her costume.

"Where’s my fucking boots?"

She couldn't find them anywhere in the trunk.

Could she wear her strappy shoes to do this...? No.

Ahh well.  What could go wrong with being barefoot?

39 Minutes later.

The casino floor was empty. She heard the sound of a helicopter close by. Well, not that close, as the casino was designed to let very little noise from the outside world in

"What’s going on?" said a voice. It was Janice.

‘Mazing girl had a policy of not getting that close to people who knew her other identity so...

She skedaddled.

There was a door outside to the small front of the casino; there was a small restaurant next to the little lake of New York harbour. In the front of the building...

And she was outside. Wow. It was just after dawn. She had been up all night. You really can't tell time in a casino.

In front of the Statue of Liberty was a huge military helicopter. It must have been able to hold 40 people. She took a moment to appreciate the scale of this operation. It must have cost at least...well, a put this together.

Just as she left, the helicopter went up - flying upwards in front of The Statue of Liberty (which, despite a joke she remembered from the movie Despicable Me, was pretty big).

Sarah saw a huge fire-hose mounted next to the restaurant door. For what reason, she didn't have any idea. Maybe to put out fires?

She grabbed it, pulling it off the wall. It weighed about 100 pounds. Perfect.

She made a quick lasso out of 20 feet of it, tying it up as the chopper kept rising and rising...she only had seconds to do this...and

She grabbed the hose around her hand as best she could, making sure to hold both ends...

And jumped.

She flew easily 200 feet into the air. Into the dawns warmth.

She grabbed the landing gear of the helicopter. If they noticed there wasn't much they could do. The chopper paused for a second, adjusting in the air, spinning just a tad...

Holding the gear in one hand, and as much of hose as possible, she swung the lasso end of the firehouse around and around...

And threw it over the torch of the Statue of Liberty.

It caught, and the helicopter could go no higher. You think it would be able to break it...but, well, helicopters were surprisingly weak.

She did her best to tie the other end - with one hand - to the copters landing gear...just getting there when someone stepped on the hand holding the landing gear. It distracted her; she let go.

And she started to fall...200 feet towards the roof of Grand Central Station.

However, this was okay. Well mostly okay. Yeah, she screamed a little for a second, but what are you going to do?

Yet as she was falling she adjusted her angle and hit the roof - which only looked like glass - feet first. But do you expect them to do a real glass ceiling in a casino to let in natural light? She bounded right back up to the helicopter in a second after hitting the roof like a rocket, jumping back up to the trapped helicopter. Someone was out trying to untie it…

She landed behind him.


She hit his head against the chopper and threw him inside as she balanced at the door.

She walked into the main copter and saw about 50 machine guns all pointed at her.

‘Mazing Girl smiled. "You start shooting; the entire helicopter goes down.  You know that. Gigs up boys."

She did a coquettish little wave. She liked doing that when she won.

"Who wants to be a live con...or a dead crook?"


Sarah got woken up in her hotel bedroom.

"Hey!" said Janice.

"What?" demanded Sarah, trying to sleep.

"You were in here," said Wendy, opening the door.

"When I came up here...i didn't feel so good. So I went to sleep," Sarah told them. "Just tired."

"Well, you missed a fuck ton!" said Wendy. "There was god-damm robbery. We were both held hostage and shit!"

"Really?" said Sarah?

"’Mazing Girl saved us!" said Wendy. "Or some stupid shit like that."

"Yeah," said Janice. "Well, not literally."

"Oh," said Sarah. "I want to get to sleep now."

"They’re closing the casino for a couple of hours to investigate it," Wendy mused. "Want to hit Caesar’s Palace?"

"Sure," said Janice.

And they both got ready, undeterred by the threat on their lives. That said something.

They made too much noise for a while for Sarah to get back to sleep.

Sarah considered this was her first and last girls’ weekend in Vegas. When she got back she would get back into Warhammer. She had a nice army going, and she would play with it. See about movie groups maybe - those were around. Maybe start up a D&D game...nahh, that was a little too geeky, even for her. Wendy and Janice were a time of her life - a time when she wanted to fit in the movie scene in LA. Now that she was more secure she could be her real self - not the prop m-girl, not the party girl, not even the ‘mazing girl, but Sarah Jennings: nerd girl. She liked herself like that.

But first she would sleep for the next day or so. That was a very good plan.

nd she would still join them for cleaning parties.

The End...

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Tales of An 'Mazing Guy

Sarah was wearing her ‘Mazing Girl costume doing her least favourite part of the job.

She put on her biggest fake smile and she walked into the children’s cancer center with dread.

Today, for the Make a Wish Foundation, she was going to give a little boy a fly around the town. Once or twice a year they came to her for stuff like this, and well, what are you going to do? Say no?

Yet she didn't have the power to do much for the kids there.

She walked past older cancer patients sitting in a hallway.  They looked to be getting chemo. She waved at them as some of

them recognized her.

"HEY!" a middle age guy shouted "Hey, ‘Mazing Girl"

She turned.

"I am not sure you remember me - probably don’ name is Fred Olsen. You rescued me from a fire last year."


"And you’re here now?" that wasn't the right thing to say in this circumstance, but it’s what she said.

"Well, what can you do?" Fred said. "This ain't going to kill me. It’s cancer of the pancreas. I am going to walk out of here

a diabetic, but they caught it quick so I am going to get out of here. 85%."

She nodded.

"Well good luck to yo" she said.

That also wasn't the right thing to say, but...

"And thanks again. You know I bet you get it a lot, but what you did, you know -you really are a hero."

She turned away.

"And I apologize for peeing on you."

She paused and turned. “What?”

"In the was scary - I just of peed my pants," he said. "I thought a lot about it over the last year, and I truly am sorry."

"You did what?" she said

She wanted to slug the guy – but, well...he had cancer.

"You know you think you do something really bad – I mean, it was going over my pants, probably a fair amount was on you. And

it was voluntary. It was know...relief."

She closed her eyes and relaxed a second.

" wasn't that. And I forgive you. And you’re welcome. I don't do this for thanks....or to be mildly assaulted.

Really, you know I am not totally invulnerable, out there I am risking my life to do this stuff, and you did that - I mean

yeah, it’s scary, but just letting rip in the middle of fucking that. Fuck you asshole. I do hope you survive, and I am not

going to press charges or something stupid like that, but fuck you...”

"Um," interrupted a voice.

She turned and saw Sheryl Hawkins. Sheryl was the head of the Make a Wish Foundation in Southern California. This was

something one would realize about something like this. How many people were involved to make these kind of things happen.

Sheryl was nice enough in her encounters with her. But she was a smiler. She had told ‘Mazing that she believed in these

kids, and their chance to survive (and something like 45% did) but she still smiled a lot for someone in her circumstances.

She also was a very conservative republican, which is something you didn't always realize. A lot of people involved were. But

well, charity is a good thing to do.

So she smiled at the swearing superheroine.

"Sorry," said Mazing. She looked at Fred. "Get well soon"

They walked off.

"Thanks again for doing this," said Sheryl. "Been talking to Ben all morning and he’s really looking forward to this."

"That’s good," Sarah said, "I bought the bjorn."

"Yeah don't try to scare him too much. He’s at that stage of cancer - where he’s going to stay where he appears pretty

healthy - he should be able to do this well enough. Just try to keep his heart rate down. His bones are a little weak, so not

too much stress - don't let him...I don't on his feet."

"I know what I’m doing," ‘Mazing assured her. "I am pretty good at this."

"His parents want to meet you – like, take a picture with you."

“Of course."

Sarah pressed up her smile.

She didn't quite know what to expect with Ben. This was hard to do. Ben, it turned out, looked a lot like Ben from the show  Lost. She should know the actors name, but didn’t. She knew he was on another TV show that she didn't watch, but had briefly been in the running to do props on: Persons of Interest. With Jim Cavival, who played Jesus in the movie a while back...

But Ben, he was a small black haired child in glasses that made him look like a nerd. She generally liked nerds, and she liked him. Sometimes when she had done this the children were close to death, days away, and it was horrible. But he looked just like an ordinary, smiling, happy boy.

Of course kids don't survive Leukaemia. Adults don't always survive it.

But she smiled.

"Amazing girl!!!""

The A wasn't proncounced , but no, she wasn't going to correct him.

He got up and hugged her. She smiled, and hugged him back.

And his head went to her breasts, but well...she wasn’t going to stop him.

"You have been my hero forever!"

She smiled at him. Dying or not - and he was dying - there was something to his enthusiasm that got her.

"He’s just finished treatment today."

‘Mazing Girl turned and saw a doctor was in the room, as well as two smiling people.

"Here’s our address," said the father, still smiling, "I was wondering if you could take him home."

She nodded, walked over, and shook his hand.

"We want him to like this place," he whispered in her ear. "He’s going to spend a lot of time here."

‘Mazing Girl nodded. Tuinga. That was one of those far-off in The Valley places. Ahh, she could handle it.

Sheryl walked in.

"Aren't you glad she’s doing this? Remember to thank her, she’s a very busy person...she’s saved the city....”

"15 times! I read it in a magazine.”

Wow...that many? Huh...well, she was impressive.

She posed for a couple of pictures. This was relatively easy. Make a Wish wasn't above bringing the press out and making a big to-do over her, after the first time she did this she said no to that in the future. To their credit, Make a Wish were cool with that.

She and Ben walked to the elevator and went up to the roof - his parents stayed behind.

"So what grade are you?"

"4th" Ben told her. "I'm 11."

"I liked 4th grade," she said.

"So your, like...human. You’re not an alien monster.”

"Nope," she confirmed. "Was born in America, grew up in...well, I'll tell you: Florida."

"You have a secret identity," he realised, "like Clark Kent. Wear glasses?"

In truth she did wear glasses in her secret identity, but she wasn't going to tell him that. She needed them to read.

"Let’s not talk about it."

"I'm sorry. You can tell me...I’m going to die in a couple of months!!"

His voice was cheerful. Very cheerful. He looked like a person for whom the concept of his words hadn't quite hit. Which she supposed was the good, and bad, thing about this. But it was weird how cheerful he was. She’d seen some weird shit - slimy monsters, men with flaming heads, geometry - but Ben’s cheerfulness was one of the strangest things she’d encountered.

They rode the elevator all the way up to thee roof.

"You’re going to pull through," she said. "And when you’re older, sell it to the press."

"I would never do that. You can trust me. I read this issue of Spiderman where he did that to a dying kid..."

"Your not dying," said Sarah.

"Am to!!!"

Sarah just let the conversation drop.

They reached the roof - 35 stories tall over Cedars Sinai. She looked over Southern California. It wasn't a particularly windy day in So Cal, but it was windy up here. There was a beautiful view in middle of the city - she could see the ocean, see downtown, see it all. She never quite got tired of it - but Ben...

"Wow! Just being up here!" said Ben.

Sarah nodded. she pulled out her borojn  and put it over her shoulder. It was a white shoulder strap device that she had gotten from a fan four years ago through her agent. It was pretty sturdy and strapped over her back to let people in."Now let’s climb in."

"You just climb in?" asked Ben.

Sarah helped him with it.

"You put it between your legs here – it’s like a seat around your back - like through your arms...let’s tighten this up." She pushed this and that, and...

"You’re going to lift me up?" said Ben.

"Yeah," Sarah told him.

"You’re that strong?" asked Ben.

"You’re not that heavy," said Sarah, "I bet your father could lift you."

"But you’re going to take me out home...that’s, like, 30 miles away."

Sarah nodded. "Yeah."


"Mostly I’m just an average everyday person really...but just this momment we’re...magic."

Sarah lifted up the 100 pound boy like he weighed nothing at all. For her he did. She put him on her back.

"Wrap you arms around my back for second, see if you can hold your weight - I need to strap these things in like this...and...”

Snaps clicked into place.

Ben smiled.

Sarah looked outward.

"Up, up..."

There was a pause.

Ben looked as if he realized he forgot something.

"I can only jump you see, when you say: ‘away’ Up, up, and...then you.”


Sarah nodded.

"Up, up," intoned Sarah.


As soon as he spoke Sarah leaned down and jumped 500 feet into the air.

"MY GOD IT’S......"

The wind was moving really fast now. Sarah was moving at 150 miles an hour through the wind, cutting through it like a knife in the breeze. She adjusted her angle a bit in the air, pushing through it through her arms. She didn't usually do the classic arms-forward, body-down pose, but it was helpful for control sometimes she flew. Then, a thousand feet into her arch, she was as high as she could go.

"What’s going on.....?"

And Sarah started to fall. Sarah was used to it. Ben wasn't. As the ground got bigger and bigger and bigger bellow them, they dropped like a rock, or maybe a cannon ball was a better comparison. She was pushing against the air as the city rose underneath them much bigger then before. Sarah saw a small park in Beverly Hills; she adjusted a little bit...

And hit the ground bending her knees, absorbing nearly 20 tons of force with her legs as if it where nothing.

"What God!!" said Ben, catching his breath.

"That’s pretty much what it’s like,” said Sarah. “I can jump about 40 or 50 miles if there’s no wind against me, but I tend to do about 5 miles in the city max, 1 or 2 when I am just going round – it’s easier on landings.”

"How far was that?" asked Ben.

"About 4."

"Wow" said Ben. "It was like a rollercoaster."

"We can go to Magic Mountain, if you want," said Sarah, "and compare it."

Sarah had done that before actually. When she was at CalArts, she’d had a season pass to Magic Mountain; one of the largest pure rollercoaster parks in the world (it had the largest number when she was there). But, yeah, jumping around flying was way  funner then roller-coasters.

However, they had really good garlic fries and fritters, and she couldn't really do loop-de-loops.

"So you want to keep going?"

"Yeah...and away!!!”

"I have to say ‘up-up’ first."


"Up, up..."


And Sarah leapt up. It was less impressive to go so high when she wasn't on a building, but what-the-hey. She started to fly north.

"Hey!" she said, six hundred feet in the air.

"WHAT?" said Ben, unable to hear her.



She landed in a vacant lot near Sunset.

"I was going to say, I could go through downtown, past all the big buildings over the mountains."

"My God, that was awesome!"

"Um...oh, yeah. It’s easier to do many jumps at once through the mountains.”

"Whatever you want."

Sarah leaned down

"You didn't say ‘up, up’."

"Sorry. Up, up, and..."


And Sarah started jumping. She normally jumped to the valley over the Sepulveda Pass, but decided to go moresecuritious  and started to jump over the Santa Monica Mountains. Flying through the hills, landing in backyards and jumping up again hundreds

of feet – traversing thousands of feet at once over valleys and peaks, landing in small forests and empty vineyards as sh flew.

It was amazing. Sarah realized it. She rarely, these days, just got to fly. Now she could and she was. And the world was wonderful.

She flew farther west then she needed to, but stoped in Stunt Road Park. A small park. She could see the valley the mountains

- the crags of the hills. You could see how much of LA was just open space - for all of its size it had so many hills so many

crags, so many buildings built into it like it was made for it, then the ocean next to it. The vast blue Pacific, looking a

jewel, with lapping waves and crystal peaks. It was gorgeous.

"WOW" said Ben. "Look how far you can see!"

"You can see Catalina there," she said, looking out.

"Can we go there?"

She considered.

"Theoretically. I would be worried about hitting the water, though. A little tricky in the landing."

"You could do it. You’re amazing!"

Sarah laughed a little.

Then she felt it.

"We need to go."

She started to run - getting a good run-up along the road, and then leapt, leapt with more power then she had done so far.

In seconds they where 10 miles away, moving as fast as she could go into the valley - over the Agoura hills, the woodlands - to the 101 freeway into Encino.

She moved as fast as her considerable power allowed. She only had a few seconds here. A few seconds to get to it. And as she landed on the divider of the freeway she saw it. A huge Mack truck heading west - so big it almost looked overloaded. So gigantic. Bearing down the highway at 50 miles an hour. And it’s driver was just about to realize its brakes were shot.

It started to jack-knife, going across the five lane highway at incredible speed.

She jumped into the freeway and saw the huge trailer come right at her.

And she punched it. Just punched it. She didn't try to stop it, barely watched it as it flew a 100 feet into the air,

spinning and twirling as it did.

Then she saw the cab fly past her. She turned in a second and grabbed its rear, dragging it to a stop. She hoped the guy’s airbag was good because she didn't have the time to feather this. It would take a tremendous effort to do this and she barely had time to watch it drag to nothing in 10 feet. All four of its tires burst from the tremendous stress of her hands, pushing

into the wheel, melting into rubber goo.

Cars were moving past her at 60 miles an hour but she didn't care an iota. Well, maybe for the cars.

She then turned her head and saw the cab flying into the air.

And she jumped up. Again moving faster then it was falling, and grabbed its bottom and lifting the 20 tons of - hey what was in it? - above her head...

She landed on Balboa Boulevard next to the freeway, and put it down on the relatively empty street.

It had taken maybe 30 seconds since she had been in Stunt Road Park.

"Wow" said Ben.

"Huh?" asked Sarah.

She looked behind her.

"THAT WAS SO AWESOME!" said Ben. "Can we do it again?"

Sarah then realized that in the entire process she had incredibly endangered the young kid. I mean, spectacularly endangered his life. That was incredibly risky. She could survive being next to a flaming cab in the middle of one of the busiest freeways in the world...not him. I mean if he got hit by a subcompact he would be dead. So fragile.

She sighed. Then a very dark thought hit her head. So damm dark. Well, he was dying. If she took the time to take him out of her rig it would have been too late. She had probably saved at least a couple of lives - maybe as many as 10...and a lot of damage to the road and the cars. It was…

And then she started to cry.

"What’s wrong?" Ben asked.

"I risked your life" explained Sarah.

"Don't worry...I’m going to die anyway" said Ben.

And she started to cry more.

"I mean, I don't mind dying - I mean, I am going to die out’s just you know, risk. Bravery. My powers are for the good of the world but...but..."

Sarah stoped. Wow. She was just like him wasn't she?

"I don't mind. I’m a junior superhero!"

"Yeah," agreed Sarah. "You’re ‘Mazing Guy, my little kid sidekick."

"Really?" said Ben

"Of course. You know, I’m going to go back to the freeway and see if they need my help...but afterwards we’re going to go to, like, a T-shirt place and make you an official ‘Mazing Guy T-shirt. And get you an ‘Mazing Guy mask and cape. How does that sound?"


Sarah smiled

"Up, up and..."


the End

Note: Make a Wish Foundation later graciously reimbursed her the cost of the T-shirt and cape. To donate to cover the cost of future funds please write at