Tuesday, August 20, 2013
Demi Cups of Justice
‘Mazing girl was the most powerful superhero in the city of Los Angeles.
Also certainly the state of California and the western United States.
One would start to have to argue about the country as a whole but these things were true.
And tonight she was going on a date, courtesy of Match.com
It was the kind of logical leap that one would make in life that would make her - Sarah Jennings, not particularly mild-mannered Prop Master for the stars (or cable television) think about if she gave a flying fuck about the concept "That ‘Mazing Girl shouldn't do that".
But, well...from a logical standpoint it had some merit. She was single. She worked long, if not always hard, hours on set. When she wasn't, she spent a lot of time patrolling the city for crime, evil, etcetera. When she wasn't doing that, going to bars, talking to friends of friends, etc, wasn't how she wanted to spend her time. It was fun about once a month.
So one Wednesday, after flirting with Jimmi Simpson on set (he was an actor who you would recognize if you saw him) she went home, put on some fairly nice makeup and a fairly short dress, and smiled.
Sarah was pretty. But she wasn't necessarily California pretty. She would have hot and cold running guys if she lived in Chicago, and do pretty well in New York. Out here the fact that she wasn't a size 0 hurt her. This was despite the fact that while she didn't do it everyday she could wear an E size cup. She looked pretty good. She slapped her butt and did a little dance, shaking her booty.
"I like big butts and I cannot lie, you others brothers can't deny, when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waste and an ass that’s in your face your face you get..."
She giggled a lot.
Guys liked that.
And one of the beauties of online dating, is that pretty much every woman got like, a dozen hits a day. So she had the ego boost of that.
She drove to a small restaurant in west Hollywood, that she had never actually been in, called Jar. Its one of those fancy restaurants where one of the chefs had been on a cooking show before. She was looking forward to it. Her date had agreed to pay.
She waited out front for a few minutes. This wasn't like a fairytale. She had seen pictures of Paul before. Paul was a patent attorney. His picture was of a fairly nice looking guy in his early 30s - muscular but not necessarily super-thin, but with a pleasant moustache. She liked moustaches.
About five minutes after arriving and told that, yes, they had their reservation, he showed up. In his little picture he was handsome. In the restaurant he was...okay...not bad. He had the look of a man who was impressed to see her. Sarah’s interactions with Paul online suggested that he was trying to please her, which she liked in guys. There was an old sawhorse that the essence of cool was not caring. She, on the other hand, admired it.
He pulled back her chair. She could toss tanks around, but she admired that. It was classy.
However...then she got to talking. Paul wasn't bad. He was obviously smart, but he had a problem shared by a lot of lawyers, of not being the best talker when he wasn't in court. They had a kind of lonely disconnect in unstructured conversations. They talked about what he did - he worked a lot with a couple of companies for online and tech patients, rarely did they go to court but often threatened to go to that level.
She talked a lot about prop design and working in art for TV. She mentioned Jimmi Simpson, and he did recognize the name.
"Wasn't he in the movie Abraham Lincoln: Vampire hunter?"
She couldn't vouch for it, but yeah...that did sound like something Jimmi would do.
However, it was kind of a little...well, not bad...but not great. The food when it came was. A good well-done pasta with something that wasn't Italian on top. He had a very nice brisket, which she tried. He was friendly, that was true, but her mind wandered.
Yeah, she was ‘Mazing Girl and she was on a date with the guy. She knew that she had an official fan website, her agent kept saying that everyday she got like a dozen marriage proposals. Okay, when she first put up the site it had gotten dozens, now it was a low trickle, but the point stood. She looked at her fan stuff on occasion, and occasionally answered it.
Yeah, the stuff from the guys about wanting to have sex, or get her panties, was creepy - but yeah, she was getting it. She was ‘Mazing Girl.
Then her mind went back and realized what she knew. He was a nice guy. A very nice guy, and certainly the people who wanted her for ‘Mazing Girl wouldn't be any nicer. Maybe handsomer, but not nicer...or better. He was trying, trying very hard, to woo Sarah - and that kind of gave her a trick.
When she felt something on the back of her neck.
She ignored it for about 10 seconds, and sighed. She was getting better at telling more information and this wasn't the ‘city in danger’ pain, but...
"Can I go to the ladies room for a second?" she asked.
"You’re asking me?" Paul said.
"Well..." she stood up and giggled.
Sarah grabbed her extra large ‘I can put my costume in’ purse, and walked towards the ladies room.
She checked her phone. She had an app that told her when there was trouble. It wasn't really an app, just an RSS feed. Nothing big on the radar.
She went to the bathroom. It was small for a fancy restaurant, with a door that went out the back. That was a good thing about a fancy restaurant. A cheaper place wouldn't have done that.
She rapidly pulled off her dress, revealing her silky thong panties over her lucious red (just in case and her...
Strapless demi cup bra.
It was red and silky - and a tad small. In other words, not something you wanted if you had to run and jump over the city. Her boobs would fly out of it, and despite being for all practical purposes invulnerable, that was not a good thing.
The curse of being big boobed - yes gravity did effect her and yes support was a good thing.
Well, not that much could be done about that now.
She put her costume on in a flash and realized she was wearing more makeup then she normally did as ‘Mazing Girl. She looked like she was on a date. Superheroines and makeup is not something you often think about. Well, not much to do. And she was ‘Mazing Girl. Not that ‘Mazing Girl and Sarah where different people – but, well...
She opened the door and ran to the back door in a flash.
When she was in the wide open driveway she was glad - because she wouldn't have to jump around the city. Well...abstractly glad.
Five guys were beating another guy up. Why? She couldn't tell. This didn't look like a murder attempt or a robbery - but it was a beating. You saw this around more then you might think.
All five of them of them - all six counting the guy on the ground, were Latinos, looked to be in their early 20s...maybe gang members? She wasn't sure. She didn't want to judge. That guy was a person, even though she knew that at some time this had been voluntary. Gang life not her thing, though she probably should make it her thing.
But she had surprise on her side, and the advantage of running at super fast speed (and not pulling out of her bra). She grabbed one of the guys on top of victim and threw him off.
The other four turned.
Two of them instantly ran away. The other looked like he was hesitating. She kicked him off and, fairly lightly, down to the ground. A third wanted to be a hero - or a villain - and stood up.
"Come at me, Bitch..." He gestured at her.
She stood up looked at him. And then, faster then his eye could see, clocked him in the jaw putting him down.
He went down like a lightweight.
She sighed, and turned. She saw that the guy she had dropped to the ground had grabbed a gun. He was now pointing it at her.
"I’ll, I’ll," he looked at her.
"Put it down, please," she asked, "You shoot me: that’s attempted murder. And we both know it ain't going to do shit."
He put it down.
Internally, ‘Mazing Girl sighed. It had been a bluff - if had hit her bra, that would have been problematic.
She sighed again.
Three of the crooks were on the ground. She grabbed the gunman up and he didn't fight her. She saw some chain on the ground and made improvised handcuffs, for him and the others, pretty easily.
“Do you have a cellphone?" she asked of the guy on the ground, the one they’d been beating up.
She looked at him. He was Latino. But also nobviously gay. Wow, she was in west LA - gay capitol of the world. Wow she was glad she answer that. This may or may not be a hate crime. She would let the courts decide that.
the victim however didn't talk, didn't say anything to her. But he smiled at her nonetheless. She hated the fact that all he would be to her and she to him would be a victim. It was a shame. Obviously they wouldn't date, but well theres more to life then that..
While she was putting on the handcuffs she made a quick call to the police. As she waited she talked to the conscious guy.
"So what was the game?"
"Right to remain silent," he said
"That’s to the cops, and I am not...you know what? No, I don't really care that much to be threatening right now."
The cops did come asked her a few questions, and took about five minutes of her time, though she told them she had to go. Which she did.
However, she realized the entrance to the restaurant was visible. Huh. Damm.
She jumped up on top of a roof (her bra managed to stay in place) and waited until they all seem occupied before she ducked back into the restaurant and changed into her normal clothes.
And then peed, because yeah, she kind of had to.
Altogether it had been about 25 minutes in the bathroom as she walked back to Paul and...
And an empty table.
She saw a waiter. "Oh, I am sorry. The guy you were with finished his meal and paid. He left about five minutes ago."
No restaurant desert.
Well, she had left at the end of dinner and gone to the bathroom for a long time, but...
He left her.
That hurt a little bit.
She hadn’t planned on going to sleep with him, she was 50/50 on whether she was going to go out with him again, but...
She wasn't a superhero who rested in the angst of her life. Of the impossibility of living a normal life doing what she did, but it was moments like this that such thoughts entered her mind. She had a lot of time to be Sarah, and just be a normal girl. But it wasn't...
She walked out into the night.
And yeah, she stopped for ice-cream on the way home. That cheered her up.
She decided to offer to be Facebook friends with the guy, as a way of making it up to him. There he could see pictures of her boobs. And they were spectacular.